Playin' with the Pencils

We are all Shipwrecks...

2011-06-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

This is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen... I've watched it 8, 9, 10 times maybe? My cheeks, wet, after every viewing.

It grips me deep inside.

Watch it once to warm up your heart... then watch it once more to explore it's intricacy... then watch it a third time to rejoice in the beauty that is human.ness. The Solitude of our imperfections. The Beauty that we have in each other. The Hope that we have in together.ness.

Listener "Wooden Heart" from Nathan Corrona on Vimeo.

*view it large if you can...

You can find the lyrics here... just scroll down until you see the name of the song (Wooden Hearts).
Take a moment to breathe in the words on the page.

Peace, Love, and anchors.
xo
lmkw

Guerilla Optimism

2011-06-06T00:49:00.000-07:00

I've been avoiding this topic for a while now... but I just can't anymore. I can't get this blog topic out of my head or heart lately. These are general observations that keep popping up into my path... example after example, opportunity after opportunity. So I figured God is trying to tell me something... trying to center my energy as a mother to really grow as a person and harness a great opportunity for my family.

source

I feel extremely compelled to work with the boys on is Kindness and the power of their attitude. I'll be honest, I've begun to avoid facebook and other Internet venues like the plague. Why? They just bring me down.... sour my day... open me up to update after update of negativity. Blah.

What ever happened to being Nice? Being Kind?

Our words matter.
Our actions matter.
We have the ability in every moment to choose to be kind or cruel, patient or demanding, sarcastic or encouraging.
We have a choice.

And in those moments, we are teaching our children what it is to be an adult... It's so so important that we model the behavior and attitude that we hope for our children to adopt.

Maybe it's because I've turned 30... maybe it's just the Mother in me, but I have gotten into a habit of avoiding situations/people that bring me down. Does that make me selfish? Having a bad day or being bummed out is one thing- but a constant drip of negative energy/actions/words is far more insidious. And it sucks the life out of me.

With facebook right at our fingertips, we embrace the power to declare/mandate/decree/affirm/announce/spew some of the most destructive thoughts to hundreds of people at a time.

Why are we so centered on ourselves that we don't actually see the personality we are constructing online?

I want my boys to be kind. I want them to understand the power of their words. I want them to feel in control of their actions and reactions... because we all have that choice. No circumstance negates us choosing how we react. And I want them to understand that what they say/do will have a ripple affect that touches everyone around them... Oh, the power we hold in our mouths!

We will practice Kindness in our nest this summer. Real honest exercises in Kindness.... because God help me if my kids become snarky, self absorbed, whiney, cynical grown men. omg, did I just say that on my blog?

We've got to be kind again...
We've got to get back into a pattern of encouragement.
We've got to understand that our words are powerful.

Our children deserve it.

We leave an impression with every.single.person we touch... What will mine be? What will your's be?

Peace, love, and the honest.truth,
xo
lmkw

Oh No! Pink Eye!?!?!

2011-05-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

Day Three of Allergic Conjunctivitis... allergy induced pink eye.

Whoa is me!!!

Oh his sweetness knows no boundaries... See his swollen red eyes? Since treating a 2 year old with eye drops is nearly impossible, we've gone rogue.

I'm treating it three ways. 1.) wiping the crusties off with a paper towel drenched in warm coffee... yep, coffee. It's a remedy I found online a few years ago. It works and I promise it doesn't burn. I've tried it myself.

2.) Rinsing his eyes with soft contact solution... It's bigger than the prescription bottle eye drops, making it easier to handle and squeeze with a squirmy, ANGRY bebe. I lay him back shirtless on a folded towel, cross his arms over his chest. I pin his arms down with one arm and hold his forehead with the other hand and either have theHotness stream the solution over/into his eyes or I try to manage it myself. It's not an exact science... which is nice considering the thrashing and screaming that results from said treatment. :( But, of course, it's over in a matter of seconds and the tears stop as quickly as they start. *whew*

3.) Our favorite and most non.traumatic treatment! Hot baths with LOTS of bubble blowing. I've read that warm compresses are good for pink eye. Something about the heat kills 'the bugs' aka bacterial that causes it... plus it's soothing to the scratchy, itchy feeling. At night I can sit and read a book covering one eye at a time with a warm, wet rag... but during the day we take 2 hot baths- one in the morning to loosen the crusties/heat the eye area without turning into an angry bebeBeast (thus making me crave a morning mimosa!) and another before bed when the swelling/goop returns.

Can you tell which is my favorite remedy? :)

Plus this pink eye also works hand in hand with a green nose and cough... it's been a brutal allergy season for us and our little nest.

After.bath necked time... what? yall don't do that? Another favorite time of the day...

As a mom, you never know what the next day will bring... or which nights you'll get to sleep without interruption. But I can say without question, even in the thick of it, there is Beauty in the trenches... Purpose for the weary... Hope on the horizon... and JOY just under the surface. Don't miss it.

Peace, love, and boric acid.
xo
lmkw

A New Sheriff in Town

2011-05-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

Last year a friend took a few minutes on her 30th birthday to document where she was at that moment in time through a few photographs. She noted how she wished she had photos of her mother at that age... and wanted her girls to have the images of her to look back on. I loved the idea and the motive behind her mini.mommy shoot. Last week before my bday got here, I mentioned to Marcus how I wanted to do a similar thing for myself and my bebies.

Yesterday, on our way to my family birthday dinner, I told Marcus we should snap a few pics of me and the boys... And to my surprise James insisted on doing a 'shoot' for me. It was a really big deal for him and he was dead serious. This was a grand gesture in his eyes and I couldn't help but allow him! I mean, really? A kid with a camera steals my heart... but MY kid with a camera, well, I lose all reason. Plus, with my camera strap around his neck, what's the worst he could do? Jack the ISO to 3200? Not reason enough to tell him no.

And I'm so glad I obliged him... I'm crazy for these pictures. I feel soooo awkward in front of the camera, but with HIM behind the camera, I have the look.of.Love in my eyes... so that totally helped. :)

Marcus took these first few...

see my fringy lashes? *see below note. lol.

Here are James' shots...

isn't it the sweetest... our expressions. he's such a fun kid.

and yes, he is telling me what to do here... wonder where he gets it from?

So it wasn't until we were in the car on our way to eat that I realized I wasn't wearing any mascara. As mothers often are, I was distracted between mascara.putting.on and teeth brushing. Jax had a melt down? I forget... regardless, I didn't realize til it was too late. If you click the pic, you can see my blond little fringy eye lashes. Good thing for make.up! I'm so fair complected that my whole face is a wash of white and freckles... :)

He was so excited to see Bruver with the camera... he's jumping here. Isn't it the cutest? Poor Jacker has a bad case of pink eye right now... my sweetDuck.

Yes, we kiss on demand. No problem. :)

We had a great day and a great family dinner at our favorite spot... then on to the house for cake!

My birthday was cause to add some amazing new Vintage to our nest... I'll be back to post on those soon. You know how I love something old... and quirky. Just like me!?!?! I can say that now I'm 30. :)

Peace, love, and saying 'Yes' once in a while...
xo
lmkw

Today I Turn Thirty!

2011-05-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

photo credit: Blue Lily Photography , dress: Spotted Moth , earrings: greenerica

So my day is finally here... I'm THIRTY years old.

These are my thoughts:

Maybe I should start taking care of my skin.

I wonder if I will accomplish as many big moments in my 30s as I did in my 20s?
*and if not, does that mean my 30's will be nice and easy and effortless? Intriguing, yet not really my style... but there is something to say about easy... I'm game.

When I got married at 23 people said I was too young... I'm so glad I didn't listen to them. Looking back, I'm glad to be sitting on a heap of blessings that abounded in my 20s as a result of that decision.

I could have done without that belly ring after all...

In ten years, my Purpose and Happiness has evolved to something much more worthwhile and fulfilling.

With much less effort in comparison, I feel prettier, sexier, and more whole in my skin today than I did the day I turned 20. Odd realization... but woooonderful.

My favorite moments in my 20s:

-Marrying theHotness that Sunday in October...

-Sending him abroad to define his career path that first year... setting us up for a secure and bright future. It wasn't easy being alone those months at a time- but I'm glad I was brave enough and secure enough to make that sacrifice for our future.family. Who knew I'd know that? Afterall, I was still belly.ringing...

-Our European honeymoons every three months... and causing a scene at each airport when we had to part ways... *Thank goodness for kind human beings who'd scoop me up with tenderness and help me board my plane.

-Buying our first house... and the house hunting- walking into these little old homes with JOY in my heart... knowing that even the ugliest duck would be wonderful if it were mine... because I knew Love would live there. And that can make even the deadest thing come alive again.... we just needed bones.

-Delivering our firstborn... just me and Marcus... and the color that suddenly rushed into my world. My life was suddenly saturated with Purpose.

-Graduating with honors with a degree I'm passionate about... having my favorite professors and mentors by my side... my best friend and her family beaming... and my husband and little boy perched atop his shoulders hooting and hollering for me. ME.

-That stormy day when I sent theHotness out for a pregnancy test... too early to check, but I did it anyway. And that tiny pink line.

-Giving birth to theDuckling in that little country hospital... quiet... cozy... and introducing him to his brother and his brother to him.

-And the day I realized that I have something to offer behind the lens... seeing things my way... working with an amazing set of clients who support my style of portraiture. The day I realized that mustard.seed.photography was something special... to me and to a lot of somebodies else.

Now THIRTY, let's get on with it. I'm a force to be reckoned with and I'm ready to do some livin' and a fair amount of lovin'. I'm the best version of myself now... and I'm excited about what the future holds for me and my manlies.

photo credit: Blue Lily Photography

peace, love, and alpha hydroxy acid,

lmkw

A real dream come true...

2011-05-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

Oh! Let's talk about Blue Lily, shall we? *nodding/crazed look*

There are a million ways to tell you how special meeting Tyler and Wendy was... and how amazing it was to be in front of their lens... and how inspiring it was to watch Wendy work... and how special it was to receive the images as interpreted by her... of our little family.

But it's hard to clearly express those sorts of things while I am still in Blue.Lily.Euphoria... I could wait til it wears off- but if I do, about half a dozen of my readers will come for my head. So, let's just get on with it, shall we? Plus, how much fun is it to upload pictures that I haven't taken and spent time processing myself? Oh the ease of it... *sigh*

To meet them, we had to drive over to Texas where they were spending ONE DAY shooting in Houston. They are based out of California- but each year, they go on world tours... globe trotting around with sessions scheduled along their stops. So far this year I think they've hit Australia, New Zealand, Japan... I may be missing a place. So they came through Texas shooting in Houston, Austin, and Dallas... then up through the states to Canada... and now they are flying over to shoot their way through Europe. *sigh*

I was so nervous as we rode out to meet them at our location... we were all dolled up. The boys were prepped with ~~bribes~~ positive encouragement. And I was armed with a sharpie marker and my shootsac in hopes of getting their autographs. :)

We started walking towards our location and I saw Tyler first with a family behind him walking towards us... then Wendy and her long red hair fanned out to the back. It was such a neat feeling seeing them in person like that. I was a little star.struck. Immediately, I was struck by their sincerity and warmth. Tyler greeted me so humbly and immediately got down on his knees to start rough housing with the boys. It was so unexpected and special... makes me wonder if I greet my MSP children with such warmth and respect? Then Wendy came towards me with her arms out for a big hug. There is no way she could have known that I've been following her work since 2007ish... so hugging her neck was so special!

In an instant, she made me feel like we were old friends... and her only client in the world. Again, made me wonder if my clients would say the same about me and how I make them feel? We talked and talked and walked and walked to our location spots... And then the magic happened. We played. We laughed. We ran. And she took pictures of it all.

The weather was so odd... gray skies, 50 degrees and windy. Really windy.

The boys did great. We had so much fun. And she heaped a hundred compliments on my head about our little family as we walked back to the car. I felt beautiful and special and lucky to be alive. I felt inspired as a mother, inspired as an artist, and inspired as a woman. Most of all, I was struck at her spirit of kindness, sincerity, and generosity....

My friends have asked if they "were all that you thought they would be?" I mean, I regard their work as some of the best in the business... and in my world, they set the bar for honest and thoughtful photography... perfectly imperfect. So that's a whole lotta pressure riding on a pair of people. But they were completely what I had hoped for and more. More warmth and more joy than I was prepared for. Which of course made me wonder if my clients leave our time together feeling joyful... like something magical just happened...???

It was a beautiful moment for me... a dream come true.

Here are a few images from our session. I prefer being behind the camera... but it's a treat to have images of me with my handsome manlies.

See?

*all photos in this blog post are credited to Blue Lily Photography

can't wait to send some images to Spotted Moth, the boutique I got my dress from... such a sweet indie shop.

oh... my boy.joys.

one of my favorites...

I *almost* didn't post this one... but when you mix a short dress and 4" heels into a family photoshoot, you may get a shot like this... precious, yet very very leggy. Needless to say, this won't be our "above the mantel shot." Lol

this one is for Erica... ;)

I'm so pleased with how the images turned out. I can't wait to order our large prints and Organic Bloom frames. :) I feel so lucky to have such special images of my little family taken by my photography mentor... i'm over.the.moon about the whole experience. And of course, it leaves me hoping that my mustard.seed clients feel the same way to some extent when they see my images of their lovies. It certainly inspires me to be the best for them.

***Thank you, Marcus, for always listening and noticing the little things that make my world bright. Meeting Wendy and Tyler and having them document our little family the way that we love means so much to me. With you, I always feel nothing is out of reach for me... for us... for them. And that's credit to you and your heart and your never.failing efforts. I love you.

I'll share a few more in my next post... :)

Peace, Love, and theBlueLillies...

lmkw

He's Home!

2011-05-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

I think it's pretty... but it will be nice to get things cleaned up again.

For the last 7ish weeks theHotness has been away on business. He would drive in on the weekends for a day before heading out again or in some crazy instances he'd drive from Texas after lunch straight to James' Tball game in the afternoon then head out again after to go back to work... nuts. But that's what you do for love. :)

I'm so happy he's home. Our garage no longer has bags and bags of garbage waiting to go out. *His job. And I'm sure the neighbors will appreciate it when we mow our lawn again. *Again, his job :)

It's a good day in our nest... James is getting out of school next week. YEA!!! Marcus is now back to working in BR. And I'm a'turnin 30. We've got lots to look forward to.

***Oh, and thanks Melissa for the blogging picture tips!!! I don't think I've gotten everything figured out... but the images are muuuuch better for starters. Thanks so much!!!

Peace, love, and green.

lmkw

theDuckling Turns TWO!

2011-05-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's time for a birthday post!

(I still haven't combined, edited, and spent sufficeint time with the pictures... there are thousands. BUT I will be posting a facebook album soon. Our photographer for the event did a marvelous job *no, not me* and I'm so very excited about sharing her work. If you don't see your precious bebe in this tiny snippette, be patient bc you'll have full access to the FB album... if, of course, you are my friend.)

It was a beautiful day for a Picnic in NaNa's Garden. We had a beautiful afternoon eating and playing. I wanted the feel to be more like a old fashioned church social than a rushed, early morning, toddler birthday party... I wanted our guest to eat, lay on the picnic blankets with their bebies, enjoy our cake walk, and just mingle and relax and visit. From what I can tell, I think we did just that. ;)

Here is a small view of what Jackson's big day was like: *click the images to make them larger... more colorful and less grainy. I need to find a new blog site... blogger is killing my images.

theDuckling, theJacker, Brother, Jackson Briggs... our boy.joy.

There was food... lots of fresh and tasty food!

There were cute brothers with cute bunnies... 15 to be exact. *Bunnies, that is.

Did I mention... cute bunnies? 15 puffy tales... ? Yes?

There was an old fashion cake walk!!!

The cake table! 150 cupcakes to satisfy even the pickiest Cake Walk Winner! And jars of old fashioned candies... *All within kid reach... I wanted them to have whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted... And the parents humored me.

Robin egg homemade sugar cookies... my very favorite treat.

Coconut nests, swiss meringue rabbits... just to name a few homemade favorites!

More Easter sugar cookies... my secret recipe. ;)

There was the center of attention... He enjoyed his day!

There was carrot pulling and little girls in sundresses....

There were favorite daddies and favorite bebies...

There were beautiful mommies and bebies getting to try sweets... *swoon*

There were hay bales topped with the cutest and most well behaved children around! *be still my heart!!!*

There was golden light and a lush green garden...

Did I mention the bunnies? 30 ears, 15 twitchy noses?

There were paper blooms strung from bean poles and tomato stakes...

There was pure sunshine...

There were the cutest compost bins around...

There was a bit of posing and hamming it up for the camera...

There was some praying... and bebies on blankets.

There were presents and another precious BlaBla...

There were boys in fedoras...

There was ~~mugging down~~ sweet smooches of appreciation...

There were goodbyes at sunset and a little after.party.glow...

It was a beautiful day... full of beautiful people who mean so much to us. I can't believe our bebe is now two years old... He's a wonder. A joy. He's taught us so much in the past 24 months of him being in our nest... on this planet. We all adore him so much. Our little marvel...

Peace, love, and spring.time.

lmkw

Update from the Delta...

2011-05-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

Oh! I've missed blogging.

I've neglected this place... If truth be told, I'm considering a facebook break for the summer so I can get back to blogging again. I miss writing things all out to completion... with pictures.

This has been an amazing Spring season for us in our little nest. We celebrated Jackson's 2nd birthday in grand style. *That post will be next. :) We took a trip to meet my favorite photographers and be photographed as a family by them... it was what dreams are made of. *Another killer post in the making. Marcus worked most of the time in Texas while we stayed back for MSP and school... *with the silver lining of working on getting back to Texas permanently. We are ankle deep in details for big changes coming up soon... I'm dreaming big. And I feel like we are in a good place. So much to look forward to.

Now, let's talk about this rising Mississippi River! It's been crazy watching the flooding all over the country... and how it's all trickled down to our banks. We are a port city, so we've all been holding our breath as the waters rose and rose and rose... waiting on pins and needles to hear if/when the government would open the Morganza Spillway to relieve the swelling. And open they did... flooding the precious city and surrounding area just north of our little nest. Prayers goes out to those who lost beloved farmland and precious homes.

It's amazing how destructive water can be. We know that all too clearly down here in South Louisiana.

We depend on these waters... but we've been knocked to our knees when the waters rise or levees fail or oil washes in wave after wave.

I wanted to see with my own eyes how high the Mississippi was getting. So a friend and I packed up our bebies and a picnic dinner and spent the evening out on the levee this past Wednesday.

Picture evidence: (click to see the larger, better quality image)

My friend and our bebies overlooking the water... usually, the bank is around that furthest tree there in the background. This was last Wednesday. The water is STILL rising. We expect it to crest tomorrow some time.

This is taken right off our LSU campus. The city skyline you see in the distance is downtown Baton Rouge where our capitol is. We are having seepage and sand boils on our college campus which is right over this levee.

These guys were fishing with grass shrimp as the waters were rising. This is a huge catfish... they were also taking off a river eel when I took this shot. I'm surprised they were catching them with the water rising like this.

Sunset on the river... beautiful.

Our bebies performing for us. We were giving them riddles about our state... Yes, to keep them from running wild, rolling into the flood waters, and getting swept away by the current.

When Allie and James' Christmas card pic... :)

And as the sun sank into the floodwater we loaded up and headed home. It was a beautiful sight. A beautifully destructive sight.

I'll be back soon. I've got so much to tell you.

Until then,
peace, love, and holding.tight.
xo
lmkw

My Space

2011-03-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

"Let there be space in your togetherness"

-Kahlil Gibran

Being a woman, I can say that I have trouble managing space... in the terms of:

What is mine.

What is yours.

How to give to a marriage and still see the value in maintaining some individuality.

How to grow a bebe inside my body, allow my body to nurse that bebe into a thriving thing...

feed his mind,

teach Love,

show Love,

create and tirelessly enforce boundaries, facilitate imaginations and dreams

and harness internal motivation to reach as high as you'd like...

Sometimes I throw myself so deeply into these roles that I love so much, that I feel as if I'm dissolving slowly from the the toes up. Dissolving ~~mostly~~ in a mess.of.happy, mind you- but still losing definition that gives me shape. My husband loves the me of me... my boys run full force towards the me in me. They love my generous nature and my tending of them, yes--- but I know they wouldn't trade me in for the comfort I create.

So being last on my list of priorities, I sometimes lose sight on that age old saying that 'if momma ain't happy, no one is.' One example of this could me my love affair with mustard.seed.photography. Gosh. It slays me how much I love photography... raw, natural, sincere connections we have with the people who matter most in this world. The deepness, the richness, the magic. For me to capture that level of connection, I have to feel that level of connection with my work. I have to have enough of me to invest in each session/relationship/connection to walk away knowing I gave my very best during these magical moments to aptly capture them. It may seem odd, but it's my method. I don't know any other way to do things... nor do I want to explore other way. I'm true to myself and I will only produce work that lights me on fire.

All of this rambling to say, I've been overlooking the need for me to have my own space to process my work. You weren't expecting that, were you?

*This post is all about my office redo... I'm just not good at cutting to the chase of things!*

Before I realized it, mustard.seed.photography went from a little this.might.could.happen dream of mine to a full blown WAHM with a daily grind that has to be met.

Our family office is a little built in nook that sits between the garage and the boys rooms on one wing of the house. It's an efficient use of space! But because it's in a transitional area of the house, it generally houses cleats, fundraising chocolate orders for school, an abandoned dinosaur, a collection of mix.matched socks, ~~endless.we.have.enough.to.decorate.a.large.sports.bar~~ LSU memorabilia from Marcus' football glory days, those store receipts they always give you that you never need/use, and junk mail. For me to work at my best, I have to empty my cluttered desk, root around to find that scented candle I splurged on, grab my water, and start up my pandora, and hope to muster up enough Calm to allow a little inpiration to flow forth. It has been a soul.sucking routine that I face everytime I sit down to start up my post processing workflow. Between a full time MSP schedule and running my household, I started to resent having to spend so much time in that catch.all.energy.zapping space. Even the scented candle wasn't cutting it.

So I decided to define the ME in that area. Afterall, I'm the only one who really uses it... so I started to transform the family space into MY space. My MSP space. I needed a place I could be happy and inspired to be in... I gave myself permission to place this project above monogrammed easter basket liners, new spring wardrobes for the boys, playroom redos, etc. :)

I'm a thrifty momma... partly bc I have to be but mostly because I really love to be. My style generally is an eclectic mix of things I love. Mostly vintage and repurposed things accented with utilitarian and interesting new things. With that in mind, I splurged on a few necessary staples and used my eye for spectacular vintage to accent the rest. And lots of things were actually from other parts of the house that work best in this space...

Here is the some.what finished product... I've got a few details to fine tune, but otherwise it's a huge shift in the right direction for me.

The view from the hall entrance...

My little work horse editing desk... I splurged on a honest.to.goodenss Office Chair. My little vintage favorite wasn't cutting the long hours logged in back here. I needed a chair designed for this kind of sitting. :) But I didn't want an ugly one... so I found this white leather and chrome version on Overstock.com. It had great reviews. So I jumped! The woodland wallpaper is left over from our bedroom. You can find it at Anthropology.

My favorite wall! The fabric panels are vintage upholstery samples my sister found on one of her vintage romps around California. She sent them to me and I had them stretched for my old house... they work perfectly here. Yay! The grey industrial wall file is a vintage find on Ebay. It houses my release forms, photopapers, house stuff, and family coupon stuff. The stool is a vintage find from a prop hunt I took one day.. The calendar is from good ole HobLob. I snagged it with my 40% off coupon and painted the frame to suit me. :)

This is a fun concept and collection that I started last year and never finished. All the frames here are vintage and were bought anywhere from $1 -$5 each. I have a few special momentos displayed in them... and I'd like to grab some japanese masking tape to display my fugi mini instax pictures, etc. But for now, they are off of the floor and hung up! So it's a start!

I'm loving this rug from Crate and Barrel. It helps define the space and warm it up from the tile floor. This isn't a big space, so I love how it gives a wall.to.wall feel here in my little nook. Plus, the ombre colors are so amazing to me... shades of greens to mustard to blues and greys. Gracious. 5x8 of pure perfection!

A few detail shots... love these little bird on a wire display clips.

theHotness surprised me with the LoveNest print some time last year as well as the Vintage Mustard Seed Magic basal reader... as an English teacher and vintage lover, he figured it was an ace in the hold. *And he was right. ;) The planter was a vintage find from years and years ago... cute little green clovers around the top and cable knit ribbed details around the side. <3

My beautiful white glazed faux bois bowl... I've got a hefty collection of faux bois going that I'm pretty pleased with. This came from ZGalleries on a Houston Trip and use to be in my bedroom... found new life here!

I love this card. My sister Danyelle sent it to me when I was 15 I think? So that makes it, what? Nearly 15 years old itself. :) She always knows just what to say... I keep all of the cards and notes she's sent me through the years. This card says "I see the big picture. -God" and it's something I constantly need to be reminded of.

Another print theHotness gifted me with... it's the French translation of my favorite mantra "Choose Joy." It amazes me how he listens to me and knows me well enough to find such amazing gifts... It needs to find it's permanent home. But for now, it's taped up in it's sleeve here.

My beautiful task lamp in tumeric! I scouted out this beauty from West Elm... the cork tile hidden with little things I need to keep up with. James made me this heart for Valentines day... he wanted me to be able to look at it while I worked. He gets it from his daddy. ;)

This is one of my vintage cameras from my little collection... my sister Danyelle sent it to me from another one of her around town vintage runs. My house is filled with the most perfect little treasures she's curated for me to have.
Thanks D! The cup of clovers are straight out of my backyard... the boys keep it full for me. I die everytime they walk with their grubby hand outstretched to me with stubby yard flowers they've gathered up for me. I usually keep it within sight of my computer monitor, but for staging this shot, I set it up there. ;)

One of my most precious pieces! It's my date book on top of a gorgeous vintage crochet throw. The colors slay me... aquas, turquoise, mustard, and camel brown. It's the most perfect weight and is ultra soft. One of my dearest friends bought it specifically for this space.... bc she knows I edit late at night with a blanket. It brings me so much joy!!!

It's a small space to transform but it's made a huge impact on my WAHM outlook. It functions better than ever before and I truly enjoy spending time creating my art... even when it's well into the wee hours of the night. Now days, the scented candle is just a bonus- not a lifeline. ;)

Peace, love, and honest.to.goodness ergonomic office chairs,
xo
lmkw

You get a line. I'll get a pole, Honey....

2011-03-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Last week James Neal had his first ever real school performance. We love his preschool and feel blessed to have the opportunity to provide the very best educational opportunity for him here in this little school district. I weighed so many factors when choosing his preschool... but at the end of the day, although this one seemed out of reach for me in many ways, I'm glad we chose to make this happen for him. He is truly thriving.

It's funny what he will and won't tell me about his school day. When he got home several weeks ago I almost eeked with excitement when I found the notice about the upcoming Spring Performance. Can your child attend and provide the proper costume requirements? Ummmm, yes and YES!!!

As the weeks led up to his performance, I would grill him about the songs and his involvement. Much to my dismay, there was very little elaboration on his part UNTIL he brought home his 'costume' requirements... He was selected to sing "Crawdad Hole," a little Cajun folk song. My grandparents use to sing it to me when I was a little girl. It's a fast little rhymy tune and my grandfather would slap his knee when he would sing it to us... or my grandmother would bounce us on her knee unless, of course, she was rocking us to sleep- then she would sway with deep sways back and forth while she sang it barely above a whisper.

Needless to say, it was one of the songs I've sung to the boys since they were infants swaddled in my arms. It's a local folk song, so it doesn't show up on lullaby CDs or other mass marketed 'for kids' song compilations... so when the music teacher introduced it to James' class he told me "momma! I couldn't believe it! It's my song! I couldn't help it, I just had to dance!" And I believe it! You'd dance along, too, if it were played for you. ;)

The program was precious! Our school has so many little ones and so much parental support, that they had to split the program into TWO performances! Isn't that funny? Two showings of a 4 year old program... I love it! The teachers were so brave to coral those bebies on and off risers as they performed their songs. To top it all off, the kids didn't sing to a musical track- but to live music... a guitar and piano accompaniment. Loved that!

Of course I brought my long lens and did my best to not be 'that mom' but still catch some memories through pictures.

Just a quick snap beside the car before we loaded up to get him to The Show! If this picture had sound, you'd hear Jax in the background yelling "pwess pway, daddy! Pwess Pway!" ordering us to get the DVD player on track... and me trying to logically explain to the 1yo how it's not worth turning on for the 2 minute drive to the school.

TheDuckling with his Nana before the big show! We were all so excited to see Bruver.

Can you see him? The down side to having a just.made.5yo that's the average size of a second grader, they are always standing in the back or to the side of things... the little miniatures get front and center! lol

The teachers are making their final adjustments. You can see James' nerves in this pic.
He's standing next to his 'best friend.'

Oh, be still my heart. HAND MOTIONS! 200 little arms and hands and 100 tiny voices...
felt a little bit like what Heaven must be like.

My favorite shot! This is when they sang the part "Honey, Baby Mine!!!"
(I can't believe he's mine and I'm his... Gracious he makes my heart pitter.patter)

For the record he has NO IDEA where I am... I jumped, waved, yelled and otherwise embarrassed myself to get his attention. This is just a lucky shot. You can tell they rehearsed their 'BIG SMILES' pose for the curtain call!

The mad dash afterward for all the proud parents and grandparents to claim their bebies! A quick huddle with Nana and PawPaw for a snapshot! Jackson was proud of his bruver- but he was more hungry than proud at this moment.
"I eatEAT! I eatEAT, momma! PawPaw??? I eat!"

Me and my boys... a triple helping of goodness!

After the big show, we treated James and the family to a big dinner out to the restaurant of James' choice... and we even stopped for ice cream sundaes after dinner. It was a late night for our crew- but one we won't forget. I can't believe we have a 5 year old of our own! From here on out it will be nothing but sports and school, I suppose! And to be honest, I couldn't be happier. :)

For those of you who weren't raised in on the levies, knee deep in run off water, slinging traps loaded with chicken necks over to the grass with cane poles, in cut off jeans dodging water moccasins, and fillin' muck buckets with crawfish for Easter Sunday dinner after church- Here is a video of the Crawdad Song sung by one of my favorite folk heros, Woody Guthrie... Enjoy!

I do believe that if James Walter was here today, he's be tickled at his great grandson's affection for a good honkytonk jukin'.

Peace, love, and that swing under that old oak tree.
xo
lmkw

on Fever and Friendship...

2011-03-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

Life lately has taken a crazy turn. My last entry relayed my excitement that we were sending the kids to MawMaw's and taking a few days to ourselves to do some spring cleaning and honeymooning. About 18 hours into our Best.Laid.Plan weekend, we got a frantic call from Grandmaw. She had taken the boys to the Houston Livestock Show and was in the petting zoo when our bebe Jackson collapsed and started seizing. When Marcus got the call minutes later, all we really knew was that paramedics were working over Jackson, he wasn't responding to outside stimuli, and they were getting him into the ambulance and taking him to Texas Children's Medical Hospital. Oh the panic. Marcus called me with the news, a shadow of himself...

It's crazy how things worked out. As scary as it was, in a literal instant- I had friends surround me with support. My friend Kellie had just gotten there with her grandmother to visit over ice.tea when I got the call. Our first reaction? Immediately lifting our voices and hearts up in prayer for my bebe... the doctors... our family. Then she immediately starting pulling down bags, and stuffing them full of all the things we would need to be away... and she didn't miss a detail. We needed nothing that she hadn't packed away for us.

The trip usually takes about 5 hours... we made it just over 3.5? It was hard racing over during the day and watching the sun set on the day still being miles and miles away from our bebe boy.

I had our friend and pediatrician give me a crash course in seizures over my cell phone as we raced out of town and towards our boy. She helped me trouble shoot what may be happening to Jackson now and how they were treating/assessing him. We were 5 hours away from our bebe. We had very little initial information of his condition or what caused the seizure. She was generous with her time and tenderness as she talked me through the scenarios and helped me outline a list of questions to ask once the doctor called us with their findings. She helped diffuse my frantic heart into something that could advocate for my child.

This was a cell phone pic Marcus' dad sent to us along our way... to show that our boy.joy was up and interacting. I love and hate this image all at the same time.

My neighbor and dear friend sprang into action and started whipping up a meal.plan for when we returned home... luckily, we were home the next day. After a whirlwind of emotion, feeling road.weary, we tucked into ~~several~~ a bowl of homemade chicken and dumplings (my very favorite). It's worth noting that I had another bowl at midnight... after checking on Jackson in his crib... he was still breathing and fever free. We celebrated with a victory bowl and then crashed. Hard. :)

The Mississippi River Bridge- Finally returning home with our boy.joy in tact!

Our beautiful bebe boy! We all needed a rest after this trip.

It's the little things! Carla met us at home to see her boy.joy with her own two eyes... she brought 'happies' from her little nest to ours- balloons and Jax's favorite carla.treats, craisens. She found us a bit battered but happy... and she found Jackson 100% himself and running circles around the island and couch with his 'Loon following him from high behind.

It didn't take this guy too long to get back on his feet! He's singing 'Mysterious Ways' by U2 in this pic.
Quite literally: 'isall wi, isssallll wiiii, is allll wiiiii! she moo in mysteria waaaay'

And that's not mentioning the seemingly hundreds of emails, messages, texts, and facebook comments from friends and clients who were surrounding me and my boys with prayer/love/support. For a five hour car ride rushing to get to your one year old who was seizing at a hospital- yes, a little notification expressing sincere thoughts and prayers from various friends and family... it matters! I really really does Make.A.Difference. It's a small way to spend your time and technology to touch a person and meet a need. I'm grateful for that relentless and resounding show of support!!!

To make a long story short, what was meant to be a low.key productive weekend became an emotional roller coaster/wake up call. Jackson is perfectly fine, thank God! He had a febrile seizure from a mystery fever he spiked. We aren't sure where the fever came from... or if more seizures are in his future. But we do know that in most cases, febrile seizures are harmless. SCARY, but harmless. We could have received bad news that weekend... but instead, we received a Silver Lining and a healthy dose of Perspective.

Since then, I've been working round.the.clock to get caught up with my MSP work that I missed while tending our little nest. It's hard! I am my own boss, secretary, artist, errand.runner, etc- and when I miss a few days running this little machine, things get all out of whack and require tremendous effort ~~and long long hours~~ to get things working smoothly again. And that same situation can be applied to our little nest, as well... the tending of our household. Good thing Adrenaline can take over after a scare like that! No matter how many candles I've been burning on how many ends, I can do it with Gratefulness in my heart and Joy on my lips! Amen!? ;)

A family Victory Breakfast at our favorite brunch spot. I love these boys and their cheese.faces.

There are so many levels to this event, this story, that aren't covered in this blog post... maybe those are for another day. But for today I am grateful for the gift of Friendship.

FRIENDSHIP.

The kinds of friends who seem to believe Love is a verb... an action word.... There is no doubt what is in their heart because it is self.evident in their actions. I'm turning 30 in a couple of months. And for the first time in my life, I am beginning to grasp the meaning of deeply rooted friendship. The only way I can describe it is the sensation you have when your lungs are burning, aching for air... nothing complicated, fancy, or needing interpretation. Just air. Just oxygen. Everything and Nothing is on your mind as you struggle for just one breath... and a Friend steps in to supply just one simple need... an in an instant, your lungs pull in Life. A deep cleansing, perspective.catching breath of Life. At a primal level... a motherhood level... that one action of kindness, of friendship becomes almost everything. It's simple. In a time of need, it's never as complicated as we try to make it. We just need a friend.... to meet a simple need.
I'm so grateful that I have the kind of friends who Give. It's crazy humbling for me and my nature to be surrounded with support and people who will Do things for me. I'm more comfortable in that role... but every now and then, Life turns the table on you. And in an instant, you know exactly how important it is when people Give and meet a need... no matter how small.

This event has renewed many aspects of my life and the things I feel are important in The Grand Scheme... least of all my renewed devotion to be a Friend. A real giver. We all have heard: To have a friend, you must be a friend.

And when I look at what has separated people from "friends" to Friends in my life, they all have similar characteristics.... There are those that consistently Give of themselves (their time, their talents, their encouragement) and their are those that tend to Take (other's time, other's talents, other's encouragements). I do think that at any time, I can find myself on either list... but I think it's not where you are at any one moment in time that defines your ability to be a real friend- rather where you spend most of your time. Most of all, I want to be a Giver. I want to confront my own insecurities and not let myself and those insecurities get in the way of being a Friend. When we limit ourselves, we limit our Joy.

and when you find these people... these Friends, take care of them.

Let them know who they are and what they mean to you. They don't know. They don't assume that they matter to you. They need to hear it now and hear it often.

They may make it LOOK easy and effortless, but I can promise you this- their laundry piles up, too. Their days are long, too. They get cut off in traffic, passed over in carpool, and spit.up.on by their children, too. Their alarms go off to early in the morning, too. They look in the mirror after a long day and wonder who they really are, too. But often times, somehow, we don't notice they have similar needs...

I've spent lots of time thinking about how be a better friend... and I think that's a good thing... a beautiful way to live... because when you think your world is falling a part in one.single.instant, it's nice to be able to check out for a spell to tend your nest, and fall back on your Support System that loves you too much to let you sink into the enormity of it all.

Peace, love, and Grace.and.Grit.that.comes.in.the.shape.of.GIRLFRIENDS.

lmkw

We dig Birthdays!

2011-03-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

One of the things that makes my kids crazy.happy is a good birthday. It's one of those things that we talk about daily- Who's next? They aren't specific to their own birthdays, but any one's in general- friend's, cousin's, etc etc.

But then again, I probably am the one who has created this birthday fever. I always try to bake a cake and host a dinner or something. So... it's what they know.

My mother just recently celebrated a birthday. I had her and dad over for a little dinner.party and cake.

I'm especially excited about what I gave my mom as a gift! *Hold your horses here... drum roll.... ... .... I ordered her a worm farm. Yes, like an ant farm- but BIGGER and with worms. My mother is an extremely gifted farmer... it's in her DNA. AND she is also an extremely gifted fisherwoman. If she's not gardening, she's fishing. So, this gift is the gift that keeps on giving in BOTH areas. Plus, we really like bugs and creepy.crawlies. Oh, we do. ;) Plus it's the only thing she really wanted this year.

It should be coming in some time tomorrow... with 1000 SuperReds to get her started. I need to make sure I'm over there to photograph the process!!

Here are a few pics of her with the boys the night of her birthday dinner.party. Her cake was decorated with jonquils. Every time I see them, I think of my mom. :)

*By the time I was able to pull out the camera to photograph it, the sun had gone down... artificial light makes me sad.

Oh, I wish this one would have come out clear... it's such a great shot of Momma.

I love this one. Jackson looks so much like my side of the family... plus his intentional smile makes ME smile.

let the candle magic begin... to be that young again... and in awe.

I love this outtake. Jax has no self control when it comes to birthdays, the birthday song, and flames. He. Must. Blow. Now. and. Blow. Often. Guess how many times we had to sing the song? Guess how many times James melted down when he didn't wait til the end of the song before he blew? He's very traditional, thour five year old. So, you get it, right?

it was for his own good... and ours, too. Lest James make us start all over AGAIN.

Yes... victory. Let's eat!

So that's it for now. I've got lots to share coming up... I'm over.hauling my mustard.seed officeSpace. A MUCH needed face lift from family catch.all to a focus friendly zone efficiently equipped for inspiration and hard work. :) I'll post that soonish.

And I'm in the throws of planning Jackson's Birthday Spectacular that's coming soon...

And I've got new glasses... ones that aren't taped at the corner with blue painters tape.

*high.fives.all.around*

And I've found a renewed peace with being a WAHM thanks to a few ladies who are in the trenches busting it with me. Which makes me feel like I may can keep this thing going... with the proper support... and perspective... and friends.

AND I'm officially staring 30 straight in the face... and I'm okay with it (today).

And we are embarking on a kid.free weekend this week... which is dedicated to ~~honeymooning~~ SpringCleaning our little nest. ;)

Okay. I've got work to get out...

Peace, love, and real homemade buttercream.
xo
lmkw

Our little Love Fest... in our Love Nest.

2011-02-20T19:20:00.000-08:00

This may have been my favorite Valentine's day yet... which is a funny declaration considering we never left the house. But it's true. My favorite so far.

Is it strange to say that we are still growing into our marriage? It has been 7 years... and 10 years together. Two kids later, and I still feel like we are reaching new levels as a couple. I love that. Even though I didn't buy into that whole 'ball and chain' idea back when we got married, I think I still subconsciously thought I'd have to give up certain elements of our relationship post matrimony. A little of the passion... a little of the fire. Maybe?

My tummy use to be flat and tight when we met... when we married. So pretty, in fact, that I thought it necessary to hang a little crystal stud from the top peak of my belly button. Silly girl. That same stomach expanded to accommodate a 9 lb bebe... then back again... only to expand again to hold another 8 pounder... then back again. That tummy is softer now. Sometimes, I wear tight camis underneath just to help soften the line where my jeans stop and my real body begins. My body has changed a bit in other areas, too. I gave life to two children, then my body nursed and sustained them as they grew strong and vigorous. Needless to say, I don't hang a crystal from my belly button anymore. I cringe at the idea that my shirt may not be long enough to cover my mid.section as I lean over to pick up Jax's socks that always seem to end up off his feet and on the floor. I'm softer, curvier, and I feel sexier now, too. Who would have thought?

All of this to say, as I stare "Thirty" square in the face, I feel bettr in my own skin today, then I ever did as a 20 year old. And that's just plain weird. But it's true! And it's all because of these boys of mine... two little spectacular creatures that came from me and Marcus. They grew up with us, as we grew together. And it's because of my husband... who seems to see only me. His hands just as grabby and boyish as they have always been. And I love it. He's quick to pull me close to kiss and squeeze and whisper in my ear. The boys see it all the time... Love really does lives here in this little nest. And it's not short in the areas that I was sure we'd lose once the kids came along. We have a full measure of it all... and I still can't get enough of my man.

Valentine weekend I managed to have a full MSP schedule but I was able to whip up some sweets for my Sweets. I love to bake. The hours in the kitchen just fade away... I love being in the center of my home mixing and spooning and rolling things along while the boys play underfoot. It feels right to me. I love swatting theHotness away as he reaches in for finger.fulls of icing. I love him swarming about as I make my "Pretties" pile and my "Uglies" pile. He gladly eats up those that just don't make the cut.

Raspberry Linzertorts & White Chocolate Sugar Cookies

Raspberry Wedding cupCakes topped with a little ribbon rose...

Forty beautiful tulips in shades of pinks and reds

and more cupcakes.. xo! ;)

It was an easy weekend full of cooking, gifting, pictures of our boys... time for us to celebrate everything we have together as a couple of kids who have a couple of kids.

Thank you for my goodies, Bay. Nothing in this world beats being yours. You notice. You remember. Your efforts are tireless. With you, nothing is out of reach... anything is possible. And that's the feeling I get to wake up to each morning.

I love my set of beautifully commissioned tea rose bracelets... they feel so pretty and delicate on my wrist.

The most perfect MSP camera strap...

paired with my *dream* shootsac camera bag.

And then there are our boys... our sweet sweet boys. In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I grabbed a few pictures of our little hunks.

They are little Hearthrobs!

In a world where the grass always seems to be greener, I'm happy I've found my home here with these men. I love receiving their affections and tending them day in and day out. And if truth be told, I'd love a whole house full of Whitty men... *Marcus, are you listening? I do believe we shouldn't stop here...

After 10 years of Valentine's Day with my valentine... I believe this one tops the charts.

Peace, love, and chocolate pie.

lmkw

And Away They Go!!!

2011-02-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

A couple weekends ago my darling ~~Carla~~ Carley and her beau went to a local Mardi Gras Ball. They go every year but with a huge stroke of 2011 Luck, her mother was unable to keep their bebe girl for them over night. This is where I come in. I've been bonded to this bebe girl since she was just a bump on her momma's belly... I've watched her grow and our family collectively have fallen madly in love with her. Needless to say, we jumped at the chance to have a big slumber party with our girl so her parents could have a night away!

But before they went, Carley and I got to play dress up. I helped her with her hair and makeup... then snapped a few ~~prom~~ pictures before they left. It's not every day a SAHM gets to get all glitzed and glamed up... OR get to be the one to break out lavender eye shadow and play makeup artist. I enjoyed every bit! Carley looked lovely! By the time they left out, the sun had set... so I had to make due inside under artificial light. Here are a few pics of my girl and her handsome beau...

Aren't they beautiful!?!?! That's why little.miss.A is so adorable.

We had a fun slumber party that night, then we put all three bebies to bed and I made theHotness homemade oatmeal raisin cookies while we watched a show on the couch. It felt so good to have THREE bebies in our nest that night. And THREE bebies underfoot in the kitchen as we all rocked out to U2. And THREE bebies that morning to come jump into the bed for a snuggle. What can I say? Our nest is meant to hold a little more love... I'm certain of it. And speaking of Love, here are a few surprise Valentine pics I took of A for her momma and daddy.

Oh, I just love this spunky thing! And I LOVE that her momma and daddy trust me enough to keep while they are away. That's a big step! And I know just what it means... So thanks, Carla. I love you and your family like my very own.

*More Vday pics of our little Love.Nest.Celebration to come soon. Right now, I'm in the midst of A Sick House: Week 3. But we did our fair share of loving/celebrating... and nose.blowing.

peace, love, and a whole.lotta.pretty.
xo
lmkw

Let's ease up on the 'killing,' shall we?

2011-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm Lindsey... the mother to two little boys. Boys.

I really can't speak of gender differences here with much authority. I mean, I have no daughter yet to compare them to- so bare with me as I shoot from the hip here. I am an early childhood/middle school teacher... so I have debated my fair share of theory on the topic... no matter though, I plan on totally winging this post.

(I'm tired.)

I love my boys. When they do things, they do them louder, harder, rougher, and messier than I do. I celebrate their gusto! Maybe that's just how boys roll. Don't get me wrong, I love it. They grip my cheeks when they kiss my lips. Loud audible smooches. No pecks. They like to squeeze me tight when they hug me. They love when I tell them how strong and handsome they are. I do love their enthusiasm and heft in loving me...

But gracious! Our little nest is noisy. And now they chase each other. Full.on.Chase... with pitter patter feet and high pitched squeals followed by the eventual smack, crash, boom. And the make believe! Everything is about SuperHeroes around here, lately. They tie towels, blankets, etc around their wastes and necks and legs and arms... layers of accessories and accoutrement. *I meant to make them both real capes for Christmas. Sparkly ones made from satin. There is still Easter, right? I've got to make that happen in order to bypass James' penchant for rigging belts around his arms, legs, and neck, oh my!

I remind them to slow down. I ask them to use their Inside Voices. I fuss and tell them to stop playing rough! I've learned just to gear up for the bumped heads and tears for when someone crosses the line plays too hard. But for the most part, I've learned to stay out of it. Let them play. Within reason, let them just do their brotherly thing. Oh, but it's hard! Especially when James and Jax in broken, toddler/preschool talk start ad libbing as they go:

"Aye! You killing me dead!"
"Oh, Bubba you deading me!"
"I dying you, Bad Guy!"
"You deading! I save da day!"

Call me crazy, but we don't do play guns, knives, swords, etc... not yet anyway. When I was little we had holsters and cap guns- true toy guns. Now, toy stores have suped up assault rifles and tricked out killing machines- so yeah, we don't play 'gangster.' Annnnd we don't do violent 'kid' movies... again, not yet. I'm protective of what they see with their little eyes. I can't stand the argument that 'boys will be boys' therefore parents choose not to censor what they overhear or see on TV. James was nearly 10lbs at birth. And when your 4 year old is the size of the average second grader, you get a little protective of managing 'aggressive' play behaviors. Invision a 'bull in a china cabinet.' So I tend to redirect those kinds of behavior to other physical forms of activity... sports, running, jumping. etc. Makes playdates with ~~tiny.miniature.fragile kids~~ average sized children a little less stressful for this mom ~~of Gigantoids~~.

However, no matter what I've done, we do a lot of super hero play... and 'deading' and 'kills you' and 'dying me.'

It does freak me out a little. As I stir dinner, holding my breath waiting for someone to burst out in tears, needing me to lift with my knees ~~not my back~~ to gather their big bones up in my arms for kisses, I pray a fairly simple prayer:

Dear God, please don't let them grow up to be killers. Please let them learn English. And please don't let them knock their teeth out today, or anything that would require me to go to the Emergency Room. I haven't bathed today and I'm out of matching socks. Momma really just wants to ride this one out, Lord. And thank you for making both children equally huge and physically hardy... that way when they go at it, they won't break each other to pieces.

See what I mean? :)

Peace, Love, and damsels in distress.
xo
lmkw

A beautiful Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

2011-01-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that I love Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think MLK Day rocks... I always have.

Growing up in the public school system, I learned all about his life and his impact on my life. Where I live, so much controversy surrounds whether or not we should celebrate his life... and I just don't get it.

Why not?
Is it that I live in the Deep South?
Is it a black/white issue?
Are we really still there?

Why do people make sarcastic comments about the fact we dedicate a day to reflect on his life? And then they throw out poorly thought through rhetoric along the lines of- ' yeah, well, why don't we have a day for this guy or that guy? Isn't that racist? etc. etc"

Logic fail. 100% of the time.

For a man such as he, in a time such as that... to stand up for Love and Freedom and Justice... saying tough things to us all... asking us to reflect on our own human nature? I don't know. But to me it's important. It makes sense. And I'm grateful that he had a place in my education growing up. I'm a better person because of this guy, and the teachers along the way who felt it important to stress his role in American history and humanity. The teachers that at a young age, challenged me to decide what kind of person I would be... The person who Loved? Or the person who Hated? And at what cost would I stand up for love. *Thank you, Mrs. Dee Course at Bellingrath Hills Elementary School, for investing in my little life and planting a seed in me.
As a young woman, raising two boys... the adoptive mother to our future daughter who will be Ethiopian, Dr. King's words, writings and speeches inspire me, convict me, and force me to reflect in a real way on how to best bring up my children in the world.

Today I talked more to James about Dr. King and why we celebrate his life. We looked through pictures and listened to his 'I Have a Dream' speech. James prefers the pictures where he is speaking out to a crowd. He told me he is going to talk like that one day... and that people will listen to him talk about Love and God. Oh, and when James talks about things like that I get all weepy. He's such a tender kid... and God gave him to me! It's cool to have a kid who is tender about things that I am tender about... that he's open to the things we learn together.

I hope he does speak that way one day. Whether it is to a crowd of a thousand or just to a crowd of three. Standing up for Love and Justice is everything a mother could want her child to do.

It's my job to impress on my children the importance of defining what you believe in and having the courage to stand up for those beliefs even when it's not popular. And of course, the first step in teaching our children that virtue, is to walk it out in front of them consistently as we navigate this life. And that's not easy... it never will be.

So, I'm glad we set aside one day a year to recommit ourselves to the dream that Dr. King spoke of... A day to renew our commitment to our children, our community, and our world. It's a beautiful way to live.

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” -Dr. King

Peace, Love, and Visionaries,
xo
lmkw

mustard.seed.photography Facebook Fan Page!

2011-01-14T15:27:00.000-08:00

So many of you have found my photography fan page. But for those of you who haven't, please swing by and check out my newest work. I've spent today updating my albums for your viewing pleasure. ;)

You can find my facebook fan page HERE and my website HERE... *I'll try to update my website here next week.

*Please check out my fan page and 'like' my work if, in fact, you do like it. AND please leave a comment letting me know you've stopped by from the blog. It would be nice to meet you. :)

Mustard.seed.photography is glad to greet 2011! I'm already booking into May. I've got the most amazing and loyal clients! Thank you for supporting me, my passion, and our adoption. The more I shoot, the closer we are to meeting our adoption financial goals!

If you would like to schedule a session with me or to check to see my availability for events, weddings, etc- please email me at www mustardseedphoto dot com or click HERE!

Natural light photography is a wonderful thing! Thanks so much for following my progress on this little mustard.seed Journey of mine.

Peace, love, and Sunlight.

lmkw

BLUE LILY and the best husband on PlanetEarth.

2011-01-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

So I needed a few days to let the news ~~wear off~~ sink in... Just talking about it out loud makes me ~~queasy~~ have butterflies in my tummy...

We are officially a Blue Lily client.

*gasp*

You can see their iconic work (here) and (here) and (here).

You simply must click on the links to see what all the fuss is about!

I have followed their work pretty much daily for 5+ years... they are on my short list of favorite photographers ever.EVER. To me, their work represents the very best of what portrait photographers can achieve... I see their soul in the images they take. I have an emotional reaction to their work. Tyler and Wendy serve as endless inspiration to me and my little mustard.seed mission.

Oh my gosh, the cutness! There they are! Wendy and Tyler Whitacre the brillance behind the brand! *their image!

The husband and wife team travel all over the world shooting portraits... and in perfect theHotness.fashion, as soon as their 2010 dates were released, he snagged us up a spot. We will have to travel to meet them- but that's part of the fun!

I'm so excited. I have great pictures of the boys... but we always look like single parents in our memories- bc one of US has to man the camera. I may die when I see us ALL in one frame (or 30). Plus, the idea to meet this inspiring couple makes me crazy excited. I get to actually SEE them do what they do best... while working with US. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around it all.

I'm so nervous and intimidated. What will we wear? Will I be a giggly mess? Can I keep my composure? Will the boys participate well? Oh, gosh, will I compulsively ask for them to sign my camera, my bag, my face? Ugh... then my stomach goes nuts and I have to take a break from this train.of.thought.

I'm so excited. I'm so grateful and thankful to theHotness for making note of all the little things that mean something to me. He is always so generous... and I know that that kind of generosity comes from his strategic planning and gut.busting hard work. There are so many things being done behind the scenes to give me the life I have... and he manages it and balances it all so effortlessly. *But I know it takes effort. Lots of effort. - thanks Bay.* So, stay tuned as we await our shoot.

Now, I must change the subject, lest my stomach gets the best of me.

Peace, love, and Mentors,

lmkw

*i had to add a photo in... but please note, it's their image!

Our little Christmas... in Pictures.

2011-01-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

Annnnd looks like that's all Blogger will allow me to upload at this time. *Huff*

It was a good holiday season... we have so much to be thankful for. Most importantly, those two boyJoys of ours. They make pretty much everything merry and bright. Plus, at the end of the day with them, we fall into bed completely wiped out... then have dreams of more bebies. It's a vicious cycle. :)

Peace, love, and Christmas.
xo
lmkw

To be Five...

2011-01-06T11:55:00.000-08:00

Dear boy.of.mine,

You've reached the mark you've been waiting for... Five Years Old. I'm so happy that you are happy. For the first time in your life, you outlined exactly what kind of fanfare you felt fit this big milestone. I did everything in my control to secure all the details of the day that you wanted... not because you are demanding or hard to please- but because you are the kind of child that a mother wants to indulge. There isn't an ugly bone in your body- or more importantly, your spirit.

It's spectacular to watch you grow... and I have noted every detail of this growth since you were just a flutter deep within my womb. I marvel in who you are. I'm astonished at who God has created you to be. There was a time, not too long ago, that your dad and I could evaluate everything about you... your nature, your eyes, your smile, your predispositions... we could label them quite clearly into two categories: theMe in you, and theHim in you. But now we can clearly see that there is more to you than Us. And thank goodness for it! You are so much more than we could have ever imagined. You are intricate, marvelous, and sincere.

I love you for where you have brought me. I love where you take me. I love the journey I've found in being your mother. I love the hope that exist every morning I wake up to find you in our nest. Watching you grow is fantastic and devastating and beautiful... I'm so grateful you share this space with us.

always and forever.ever,
momma

photo credit: Glass Wall Photography

Last Night...

2011-01-05T11:31:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning as usual to theHotness making his way to the bathroom to get ready for work. In that instant that I opened my eyes, I realize that I had an amazing dream... a beautiful dream. I saw our daughter's face... her big brown eyes, her curled lashes, her soft dreamy hair. In my dream, I was focused on telling her to wait for us, that we were coming... and to not be afraid. I held her tight and kissed her a million times and I was overcome with emotion. She wasn't scared and she acted like she new me and loved me and felt safe with me. It was the warmest, brightest feeling ever. I told her about her brothers and how silly they were and how devoted they will be when she comes home. I told her about Jax's easy laugh and James' tender heart. I told her about her daddy... that he was calm and strong and good. I wrapped my arms around her and told her that her daddy's hug felt one.hundred.times better... and that with him around, nothing would ever hurt her. Ever. I told her that he makes our dreams come true and will make hers too.

In my dream, I started to feel the haste that our time together was nearly over. I took her tiny hand... all five fingers and I spread them out over my hand. I held it to my heart and told her about me. I told her that nothing would stop me from getting to her. I told her that I'm not a perfect person... or perfect mother... but I've never been scared of Effort or a Challenge or Hard Work. I told her that if she would trust me, I would devote the rest of my life to raising her up in Love and in Truth. I looked into her brown eyes above her button nose and told her that her dreams would be my dreams and heart would be my heart. I told her that I promise to respect her heritage and the woman that gave the ultimate sacrifice to place her into our nest. I promised to come back and DO something to keep these children safe, these woman safe. I promised to be honest with her... to not raise her separate or apart from her culture... I promised to try with all my heart to raise her as best I can. I asked her to trust me. To wait for me.

Then a beautiful lady dressed in a beautiful, simple gown came and took her from me. I crumbled. Not in fear... I had great peace. I crumbled at the physical separation and reality that we have a long road ahead of us. I love her so much. I'm bonded to a child I've never met or seen. But this dream was a gift to me.

My friend posted this today on her FB page. It spoke to my heart.

"Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise... He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises." Romans 4:20-21

I am fully convinced that God has promised this for our family... for this little girl. In this promise comes great emotion. For this child to be promised to us, she will have to come into this world amid great strife and struggle. She will have to be loved, nurtured, and given up by her birth mother... not because she was ever unwanted... but because of extreme poverty... because of lack of resources and development- things that shouldn't exist in our world. Things that can and should and will be changed. I'm so little. So very very small. But inside me lives a Mighty.Force. And I know that my heart is His heart... and that paired with a little Boldness, is all we really need. In my dream, I pledged myself to this child to do everything in my power to bring about a change in this orphan crisis in Ethiopia and around the world...

And in that promise, I will not waiver.

peace, love, and Promises.
xo
lmkw

Happy NewYear: The beginning of a journey...

2011-01-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

Hi friends!

Today is the first day 'back.to.normal.' You see, 4 days ago we started a new year... Year 2011... the year We've Been Waiting For!!! I've been waiting for this moment for more than a year... remember way back to November of 2009? Feels like forever ago.

This year marks a big step in our little family. As anticipated, we are growing our family! We will be adding to our little nest through the miracle of adoption. The anatomy of our family will be forever changed and we could not be happier!

All the way across the world there is a little girl... we don't know who she is. We don't know her face, her age, or anything about her at all... other than the fact that circumstances will bring us together as a family. All we can do is trust God to make our paths meet. All we can do is to take one step forward, in faith, trusting that eventually we will find our feet on African soil making their way to ourGirl.

The specifics?

We have filed for adoption of a bebe-2yo little girl in Ethiopia... Our agency is Illien Adoptions International. We expect this process to take anywhere from 12 to 18 months. Yes, it will be expensive. Yes, it will be an emotional trial. Yes, there are many many unknowns out there that have/have yet/and will present themselves to us on this journey--- BUT we feel without a shadow of a doubt, that our family is meant to reach out into this world and bring an orphan home. In adoption (or even pregnancy) we can't control everything... at some point you have to let go of the illusion of control and step out in Faith, trusting God's will in our lives. We trust that our Heavenly Father will meet us there and carry us to her and her to us. He will make a way for us both.... It's an unlikely story of Love. But 'unlikely' is our God's specialty. So we look forward down this path with eyes lifted!

This image is taken from our agency's site... they have amazing images there. :)

So basically I'm staring this year in the face and wondering about many things:

Will we be moving this year? Will we move back to Texas? Will it be (crossing our fingers) overseas? Will we be parents of three by 2012? Will the adoptions be short and easy? Long and difficult? Are we sticking around in BatonRouge for another year or three? What will me turning 30 feel like? Should I let mustard.seed.photography grow with wild abandon adding more photographers, editors, and a studio space? Should I keep it small and neat and maintain my position as a niche indie.photographer? Will I feel this new bebe sleep on my chest... feeling her hot little breath on my neck? Or is that further away? Will the boys become world travelers this year with hours packed away on airplanes... walking the streets of new places, learning new customs, making new friends?

At this point, Jan. 4th, 2011- I have no idea of the answers. And my personality lends itself to being a little impatient... wanting to control mostly everything. BUT when I look over my list of uncertainties, it's obvious that no matter how these questions are answered, we are living an abundantly blessed life. I'm not sure what the Big Picture of 2011 will be... but I'm completely certain that God will be there in the details, hand tailoring exactly what we need. Today I am at peace! And I'm hoping that tomorrow I will wake up with the same peace... but if not, I'll choose to center myself around the things in my life that are unchanging.

Good things are on the horizon! I don't want to miss today by waiting on tomorrow... So YOU! 2011? Don't even try to come at me all loomy and up.in.the.air! That may would have worked in 2010 or something- but not now, Sucker. Dude, I'm almost THIRTY- which means I've got this thing.

In the meantime, I plan on choosing joy everyday and wait for all these questions to reveal their answers. But between you and me? I'd like to be overseas, with a bebe, that comes to us rather quickly and painlessly, with happy/healthy/growing boys experiencing a different culture... annnnnnd i'd like to find myself in a moment where I'm walking down a market street, with my bebeGirl wrapped around me, sleeping soundly, the top of her head smelling like Heaven. My boys holding my hands walking beside me taking in all that they see... with Marcus' keeping us all safe in his stride. It certainly would take many minor.miracles to piece this little dream together this year- but it is certainly possible. SO I'll think on it while I fold clothes and tend my men. :)

For now, we will be focusing on some up coming job news, our home study, some exciting fund.raising opportunities, James' spring Pre.School semester, and a very full winter/spring mustard.seed schedule!

To keep my heart busy, I'm on a quest to find some amazing Africa/Ethiopia/Adoption art prints/jewelry. I'm currently obsessed with filling our nest with it's image. Because after all, this country (and more specifically a Community, a Family, a Woman) will give us the most Precious Resource it has... and I want to be reminded of this everyday. :) So let me know if you have a favorite resource!

source here! *This was made by an expectant dad to his wife as they awaited the arrival of their sweet son... It makes me cry when I see it. It's amazing. Annnnnd I think I'd die if I could have my own print...

***And it can't go without saying, THANK YOU to all that have followed my story, my work, and my little family... Your encouragement has gone a long way and I'm grateful for your time and sentiments. Please keep up with this journey! We will need the company!! ;)

peace, love, and notarized paperwork trails.
xo
lmkw

Hello, Rest and Relaxation... and Reflection.

2010-12-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,

It's 8:30 am.

I woke around 7am when theHotness kissed me goodbye on his way out the door to work. I love the way he smells of soap, toothpaste, and cologne when he leaves out to face this big.bad.world for us. I laid in bed for a while longer watching the light reflecting off the lake dance on my bedroom ceiling... how does it dooo that? Then I rolled out of bed, grabbed my red rove- you remember the one? The one James insisted I have last Christmas and promptly told me about once they came in from shopping?

I walked through my house... the warm cypress woodwork, the fresh grey walls, the cold tile leading down the hall to James' room. I crept up to the top bunk and started kissing and smelling his head. He is all knees and elbows but his cheeks are still chubby. His fat cherub lips still pout when he sleeps. I nuzzled him until he finally woke to shrug me off. "Momma? Daddy never does that,' he says to me in his brand new morning voice. "I know, Love."

"Why you do that?" he asks sort of annoyed. I sigh, trying to pick out the best reason for loving my children to death... I couldn't settle on one good reason, so I launched into something like: it's because you grew inside my belly for 9 months. It's because I lost all reason when you were born healthy and placed into my arms. It's because you are my proof that God is faithful and full of grace. It's because I watched your pensive face melt into your first smile. I felt the knobby ridge of your first tooth peek through your gummy smile that day in the bath tub. Your first step. The day you found my lipstick. The way you'd lick the top of your daddy's head when you were on his shoulders. The way you'd belly.laugh in your sling when I'd smash garlic when cooking your dinner... I watched you leave me to take your first bus ride. I held my breath as you finally returned to me that afternoon... All of this. All of these things. And all the things that will ever happen from here on out with you. It's endless. That's why.

By this point, we were thick into the decision of what to wear for Free Dress Day. I had several well coordinated outfits laid out for scrutiny. Naturally, none made the cut. As usual, he wanted to wear his T.Ball sliding pants and one of his football or soccer jerseys. All of which are too small for him to leave the house and go out in public. *James has grown 7 inches in the past 2.5 months. Yes, seriously. James, you don't know this, but you have 3 NFL authentic jerseys and a professional soccer jersey coming your way for Christmas. With these gifts I fully understand that I'll never get you to wear anything else ever again... I'm sure you'll be on a strict 4 outfit rotation for the rest of your life. But at least I will have the satisfaction that you will be wearing clothes that FIT. All of this in hopes to avoid the next teary FreeDress morning when I have to explain again why you can't wear your France soccer jersey to school. (Carmen, remember that jersey?) You've worn it weekly then daily since you were TWO. It has seen a good run, Dearest.

Then after 5 more minutes of prep time, he was running out the door to catch the bus. Book sack bobbing up and down as he jogged down the driveway, across the street, then a quick pause as he gave his bus driver a High.Five.

The past two days I've been sadish. I'm coming off an incredibly successful and busy mustard.seed.photography year. There was no way I could expect the overwhelming response to my work. It's been amazing and I've grown so much professionally and personally. I'm 100% grateful for it all! But I'm a touch tired. I'm anxious to pause MSP work so I can recoup some much needed family time. I still have some lingering work... but for the most part, I won't be producing new work until January. I'm anxious to refocus on my family and this season. Just a mini.holiday respite.

Which brings me to the fact that each year that passes, my boys get a year older. James will be FIVE years old in 19 days.

Maybe because he was my first... or the fact that I had a high.risk pregnancy... or because he followed a miscarriage... or because he was born at the most nostalgic time of the year... I always get emotional around his birthday. It's not a marked 'sadness' but it is an overwhelming sense of gratefulness.

My life changed the day he was born. I became myself when he was born. Then I think about where Marcus and I were when we became parents. Our love. Our hopes. Our finances or lack of. It makes me swell up inside. God gifted US with James... and our lives have never been the same. Everyday is filled with an unconditional, tangible Love that we never could have expected. And that Love became Jackson... and will become our daughter as we make our way to her. As a woman, nothing has ever compared to the Purpose I feel tending my nest and my bitties.

And when I reflect on this transformation and the Hope that I feel moving forward raising up these boys... I am undone. For a spell. A day or two.

I'm hoping a weekend steeped in family festivities with my three boys will help my aching heart.

Peace, love, and gingerbread.
xo
lmkw

Things I shouldn't forget...

2010-10-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

My moonshine.
My beaux jack.
My moon.eyed boy.
My first.born.

James has been in school now for 2 months or so... a very big step for this pre.schooler. A very big step for his momma. Things have shifted some in our little nest to accommodate such Huge Happenings. Some for better. Some for worse, maybe?

When James was 18months old, I can remember him trying a little independence on for size. He could walk. He could talk. He could sneak and demand and make grown people spring into action to produce whatever it was that he wanted in a moments notice.

One day, at wits end, I confessed to my best friend... she laughed and promised me something I will never forget. It was simple. And it's been my parenting mantra every since... Even when I feel like I am losing my grip with towing the line with these boys... about to crash into the Parental.Purgatory- I remind myself of this very important phrase. My friend promised that 'it was just a phase.' Just like a mother who whispers 'it's only a dream' when you wake scared and fitful... I trusted her. I still do. When things get out.of.sync, when I question theUniverse and ponder if alien life form has, indeed, taken possession of my moon.eyed 4yo body, I repeat to myself (sometimes audibly) IT'S JUST A PHASE. Sometimes it's more of a plea. Sometimes it's a battle cry. And sometimes it's proven advice I hand over to other friends who may.or.maynot be questioning their own parental sanity.

IT'S JUST A PHASE

And the thing is, it really is just a phase. SO far, so good!
*knocking on my wooden editing desk*

My boyJoy has gone off to school to learn about the BigBadWorld and every day, at the perfect time, he runs off the school bus and swaggers up to the house wanting water and to talk about his travels. As his mother, and biggest fan, I listen with baited breath, hanging on every.word.

I miss him. I miss our time together. And, like all whimsy.in.love.mothers, I have such high expectations of our remaining day together...

Along with wisdom and experience comes a few side.effects of growing up. At school he has learn how to tilt his voice just right, begging for things. A whine. He's learned to whine as well as any child. He's learned to push, shove, and yank things away if he wants them... Fake crying for things? Nailed. He's learned how to infuriate grown.educated.adults into a tizzy with catch.phrases like: I don't knooooow. I don't waaaaant to. But whhhhhhy? It's like he sees these other children and the cool 'tricks' they know, stuffs them deeply into his pockets and then brings them home to try on for size for Momma and Daddy.

So for the past 8 weeks, we've been steadily undo.ing some of these nasty, yet tempting, social habits. And after we ripped theWhine off, stripped theBully out, stomped theMelodrama down, and scrubbed theBackTalk clean, theHotness and I are totally wiped out.

Nothing thrills me and that man more than being parents... Waking up everyday to meet the crazy needs of raising up our boys and tending our nest. We are steeped deep into this domesticBliss we've created and been Blessed with. So when we see our little chics stray from the nest or act plain.ole.ugly- we ponder the meaning of Life, Love, and Everything.Holy. It's exhausting.

And then I hear a familiar refrain circling around:

It's only a phase.

Then I utter it up in prayer... It's only a phase?

Please, God, let it be.

:)

I love these boys. The ups. The downs. The in.betweens. Everyday we wake up together is pure magic. We work so hard and go without in order to keep me here with these children. I don't want someone else doing this job for me... even though some days I feel that this kind of Courage is faulty and I'm the worst mother on PlanetEarth. This is exactly where I should be. Where I want to be. Where absolute Joy is found. I can't wait for another bebe... and then another, even. As exhausting as bringing up boys can be, there isn't a single place I'd rather be.

Oh James Neal, you've got my heart. Some days, don't squeeze it so hard? Mkay?

Peace, love, and gut.busting.mantras.
xo
lmkw

Our days...

2010-10-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Why hello!

:)
A question for you:

How do professional photographers get pictures of their kids???

One possible answer:

Substandard, grainy, but oh.so.convenient cell phone camera! ;)

**********

Mustard.seed.photography is a beautiful beast- and I'm now working behind the camera hours and hours a week... and then the piles of uncut.raw.images stack up and turn into even more countless hours behind the computer at my editing desk. And with October in the air, I feel a bit like a mad.scientist working feverishly at her creation... a little bit of this, a pinch of that... wild music crooning over Pandora... candles flickering in the corner of my creative space... my signature wild hair standing straight up and positively crooked.

I love it. Every minute, mind you. I do.

So, it's really true that working photographers find a hard time capturing their daily life and family adequately. Where is the time? But thank goodness for my handy.dandy.Iphone!

So in efforts to get this blog pointed in the right direction, lets review the past 5 weeks in our little Nest- compliments of Lola, the ever loyal cellular device. :)

Que the image.update! :)

We kept things clean.ish... mostly. Some of us helped more than others...

We had days where we needed a little freedom...

Days when we really just needed to break.it.down and dance, for reals.

Days when we needed to stand out.

Days when we just wanted to fit in... and be apart of something bigger.

More days of standing.out (it's the Knight.way)...

Followed by more days when we just wanted to fit in...

Confident days.

Days of thrilling thrifted.victories.

Sewing days! Where we realized it pays to be creative... and willing to see things through.

Days full of RePurposing... and the momentum found in Ideas.

Days full of Love, punctuated by Liquid.Courage...

Comforting days of beautiful routine and favorite moments...

Days filled of booksack reminders that we are Blessed... and Love really does Live Here.

Naughty days...

Days (or weeks) where we met new friends and learned new skilz...

Days filled with passion doing what we do best of all...

Dental.hygene obsession... every day. (every.single.day)

In.Love days when I'm rocked to the core by a Romance, by a man, who makes dreams come true...

Starting.new.collection Days...

Welcoming.New.Seasons days...

Days where Practice.makes.Perfect...

Fragile days when mostly everything hurt... Days of loss... struggle days.

Thoughtful days when we reconsidered what matters most of all...

Days of longing... wishing... waiting...

Days with long hours, deadlines, and hard work... hard.beautiful.i.can't.believe.this.is.my.life Work.

Moments of beauty in the constant rush of Daily.Grind.ing.

Craving days... that could only be filled with Lebanese food and rose.water...

Days where we felt proud, simple, and connected.

I.feel.pretty days...

...AND...

Almost.Perfect.Days

(I've missed you, friends. I enjoyed the update.)

Peace, Love, and re.connecting.
xo
lmkw

Shhh... I'm still here...

2010-08-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

Oh quiet, cold little blog space... I do miss you.

Life is full, busy, and pushing me forward.
In my quiet moments, however few and far between- my body aches for sleep... or it aches to sit as close as possible to my husband's shirtless arms on the couch. He smells like bread and goodness.

So, in those moments, I sleep or sit.

I want to tell you things...
so many things.
All good things.

Will I ever have a time to properly fill in the spaces that I've left wide open? Maybe I will just move on and leave out the details of summer... Keep them to myself? That seems unusual...

But for now, know that things are well! mustard.seed.photography is living and breathing and growing and bossing me around most of my days. I love it. With all my heart. James is now in school- and he smells of paste glue and crayons. I'm so happy for my boy. I miss him. But mostly I'm happy that he runs home to me in the afternoon smelling of playgrounds and books, filled to the brim with stories. Jax is still pure joy. He dazzles me and I find myself just watching him Live. Our gift. The adoption is right on track- almost everything is in place. She's as real to us as if she were here in my arms now... and I love that tangible feeling. I've been cooking again. Painting. Sewing. Tending. Preparing.

Life if good and full of promise. I sense a feeling that our lives are about to burst open... like we are on a precipice of some sort... Maybe it's the adoption? I can't pin the feeling down. I can't quite anticipate the details. But we are knee deep in adventure right now- and I feel as if we are about to get swept over... like the swell before the wave... and I'm okay with that. I know who made the tides... so no worries here.. just Thrill. At first, that kind of Trust made me anxious inside. All pickled with worry and doubt. But now? I realize that Trust is like the sun, pressing in and stealing away the darkness and doubt... soon it will wear your little body out... until you find a still, quiet spot on the porch and curl up on the brass bed and drift away to sleep. It's a good feeling. The best?

I wonder what this feeling will amount too? Makes me daydream...

Ran across something beautiful... I wanted to share.

Off to cook dinner for my Kindreds... :)

Oh, I miss this place. Please hold the space for a bit longer... I feel the pendulum swinging the other way soon.

Peace, love, and sundried tomatoes and artichokes,
xo
lmkw

A part of my process...

2010-07-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that mustard.seed.photography has become something all it's own. It's 'people' have kindly nicknamed it my little mustard.seed Mission. Because, it is a mission of sorts.

Let me clarify:
Initially, mustard.seed.photography was born out of an overwhelming desire to adopt a child into our family. And that takes money. Gobs, even. And I've never been a 'it can happen for you but it CAN'T happen for me' kind of girl. No. Thanks to Terry and Sue Knight, I'm a bull.by.the.horns grabber.... So my photography serves as fundraising to support our adoption process. *I digress.

But that's just it. That's how God works. He only lets us see just a small part of the puzzle at a time. Then as an act of Faith, as we swim out into the deep end of life, He reveals more and more of His plan to us. But it's a bit.by.bit process. Maybe it's because I'm small. Maybe it's because I need to be enticed to Trust and revealing too much would scare me back into a habit of inaction. Either way, for whatever reason- His ways are perfect and I trust and believe and feel that with all my heart.

The past few months working towards this adoption has revealed the other bits of this mission that I'm on. Lots of self actualization. Lots of inspiration where women and children and family preservation is concerned... The honest silver lining to it all.

Without even realizing it, mustard.seed.photography has become something more... to me. To my clients. The mothers and fathers and aunts and sisters and grandparents who celebrate life through my style of portraiture.

Every session I proof, every single session- a portrait or three will catch me. Grip my heart and bring tears to my eyes. Not because they pretty... not because it was a great capture or fundamentally sound. I am gripped because in a moment, I am overcome with the Story of it all.

We all have story behind who we are... where we came from... where we are heading. Every single client has shared their poignant story behind why this photo session is a true celebration of Life for them. Every.single.one.

Take this little girl for example. She has a real story- and she doesn't even know it. Her mother knows her story. Her mother understands all the tender moments that connect this little girl's days together leading her to that exact moment when my shutter dropped capturing that face of hers. The spunk and certainty she so cleverly displays with those eyes and grin.

Her mother knows each and every event leading to this very.big.Third.birthday of hers...

We all have Stories filled with tender moments of worry punctuated by immense feelings of Gratitude... overwhelmed with the sincerity of Grace... rocked by abundant feelings of Hope.

This mustard.seed Mission is about remembering where we've come from, while celebrating the bounty of what we have right now- existing in a space where we can hold tight to what matters most of all- while looking forward to the Hope that exist on the horizon of each and every day we have together on this planet.

This mustard.seed Mission is about taking a tiny touch of Faith and stepping out in the name of Love. The pictures are just little bits of evidence that we were here Living this Life and Loving each other along the way.

And being the lady with the camera watching it all unfold... handing over the digital images for these families to have and share as they see fit... visually documenting the Blessings in their lives is an absolute honor and sincere privilege. While working to bring my daughter home, shoot by shoot, I am forever touched and changed by the Stories I hear and the families who share themselves with me.

*Let's just say that 8 months ago, I didn't see this coming. :)

Peace, love, and stories.
xo
lmkw

Finding my feet again...

2010-07-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Oh hello near strangers. :)

My busy 6 weeks is coming to a close. And I just want to sit down and flesh it all out. Not so much about the events- bc they were just Events. But more like my process and growth at this juncture of it all. Yes, prepare for a meaty post. *Ahem* Prepare for a long post. As you've come to expect, brevity has never been my thing. :)

It's funny now looking back over it. To be honest, I dreaded going into 4 weeks of teaching, tons of new photo shoots, etc, etc. It's not that I don't like a good challenge, it's just that I know how much my little nest relies on me being rested, centered, focused and available.

I'm a mom.
More than a teacher.
More than a photographer.
More than a house.keeper and cook.

I'm a mother.

And our bebies are simple.
They don't need much.
They certainly don't need many of the things I work to give them.
They just need me here and happy. Available. Relaxed.

and when those things get put on hold... when THOSE things get paused by Life, everything starts to stretch and pull and show signs of unraveling.

While I was busy Busting It, we got tired. We got sick. Strep throat. Never in my whole life had I ever had strep throat. We got cranky. Bedtimes got to be a nightly fuss.fest. James was emotional at every turn of the day. We had potty accidents. Streaks of them. Jax learned to whine. To beg. To be needy.

In the stretch of weeks I got angry. Lost my temper. Fussed more than I should have. Had to apologize more than ever. Did I mention being deathly ill for 48 hours? Prayed a lot. Wished a lot. Felt pitiful. Dreadfully pitiful. And worked day.by.day to get out of the trenches of being Plain Busy. Too Busy.

But I made it. We all did. *Thank you, Lord! :)

You know, life really isn't about Balance. I've heard that whole schpill for years and years now since becoming a mom. "Find you balance. Remember to balance it all. Don't forget to find your balance, etc. etc." That's one way to look at it- the Whole Balance Paradigm... I feel that there is no such thing as short term balance, anyway. The idea that in this world of technology and in this Boot.Strap.Get.Er.Done.Multi.Tasking culture- Some times you just have to Bust It! Sometimes you just have to grit through it and paddle paddle paddle to get to the other side.

And you know what? That's not a terrible.awful.how.could.you thing. It's during times like these that you begin to notice who you are and what you are capable of. I felt accomplished. In the past 6 weeks I booked my first weddings. I became a product photographer for one of the largest industrial companies in the Nation. I worked behind the camera a lot- learning. learning. growing.

And,

I learned how no matter how much effort I put forth hoping for excellence or perfection, I still needed to acknowledge the God Factor: that everything I have, do, or will do is a gift from Him. Not of my own strength or ability- but from His guidance and Will do I do. Not my merit. But His. I'm not a leaner. I'm a do.it.myselfer. So learning to lean, trust, and rely on someone else during hard/busy/tough times is hard for me. I'm a mountain.top girl. I'm learning how to let.go and trust when Life makes me a in.the.valley girl.

In the past 6 weeks, our desire to adopt became a hard and firm REALIZATION that we could adopt. Not a wish or a dream BUT an actual opportunity that is right around the bend. A real little girl out there- who will end up motherless, fatherless. A perfect little person needing something that WE can give her... something that WE have plenty of... something that WE promise to provide for the rest of her life. How utterly amazing is that!?!? Oh, the joy she provides already when we haven't even seen her face...

But also,
my boys... my sweet sweet boys. We grew together. They saw their mother work hard. They saw her give and stretch and reach. They saw her mess up, fall flat, have doubts and regrets. They saw my humaness. But they also saw me say 'i'm sorry.' They saw me value their feelings. They saw me meet their needs even when I was tired. They saw me cope. They didn't go without cuddles, or kisses, or bedtime stories.

Right now I am learning that Motherhood (specifically SAHMotherhood) isn't just about warm cookies and clean houses. It's not about providing everything our kids have ever wanted... our homes lacking nothing. It's not about creating a Risk Free Zone where their homes are little bubbles of Perfection. *How many nights have I laid down feeling defeated by not being able to arrange that kind of perfection that day, that holiday, that moment???

It's about walking through lives and relationships, engaging our kids as we go. Empowering them through our experiences and reactions and actions to walk through this life thoughtfully and reflectively. It's about helping them create a skill set full of experiences that help fortify them when they are out there making their own choices... taking their own risks... making their own relationships.

This past 6 weeks has taught me that I don't do everything right- even when I plan and work and make provisions for Perfect. But in being human, I'm able to flex and fall into what life is all about: Grace. Mercy. Faith. Hope. Kindness. Love. with Family being the compilation and full circle of it all.

***I will say, my ability to Stay At Home to raise my boys is a sacrifice. From the beginning we sat down and made two piles. We took things we enjoy from Our Pile and placed them in Our Boys' Pile. We go without. We pass up. We work towards- in order for our boys to have me home with them. At the crux of that decision is my husband. My sweet, strong, hero of a man who assumed the financial responsibility to keep us safe and moving forward in this life. He stretches. He manages. He rearranges so that we can hold tight to our little Life inside this nest. He does all of this without me even noticing a thing. He comes home available and tuned in to us. Amazing. Even when I try, I still allow things to 'bleed over' into our family time. But he takes it in stride without us knowing anything different. And in addition to the day.to.day he still encourages my dreams and passions- and sometimes that encouragement comes in the form of cold hard cash... say to make that leap some years ago to buy my first DSLR camera, for example. He's generous in all that he does and has the calm confidence that makes you want to take that next step. He makes me want to be Brave. God blessed me way beyond measure when he sent me this man.

***And the most encouraging aspect of all is that even as tiny as I am... as simple as I live... as meaningless as I am in the Whole Grand Scheme of this World, God loves me so specifically that He shows up every single day meeting my needs. He puts people in my life that are the Hands and Feet of Jesus. Through Him, they meet my needs. They Love me. They encourage me. They hold me accountable. They laugh at me and remind me to get.a.grip. He places little miracles in my day showing me that I am special and valuable and beautiful to Him.

All of this looooong post to say this:
If you ever thought you'd like to Do Something- ANYTHING. If you ever had a dream in your heart... If you ever had a God Moment where you felt pulled to do this or that- PLEASE steep that dream in prayers. Say it out loud. Develop it with the people or the person who supports you. AND take that little tiny step of faith towards that goal. It ONLY takes one single lonely step.

I'm telling you right now, all you need is that first step= bc God shows up and gives you EXACTLY what you need to take the next, and then the next. And not only are your needs met, but you Grow in the most unreasonably amazing ways. And as a result of your faith- you can encourage someone else to grab their dream and it's in THAT act of Love, that an entire family could be changed. An entire community. An entire region. An entire WORLD could be changed. Just in that tiny ripple of Faith. That tiny gift of Grace and Mercy you find when you realize that God is here with you.

So... what now?
I take a deep breath.
We enjoyed an amazing holiday weekend full of family re.connection.
I'm doing laundry again. I'm spending time on the floor with my kids. Lots of public displays of affection at inappropriate times. :) I'm taking pics of my own darlings- nothing stuffy or planned... just as our day finds us. And I'm doing the things I love most- cooking, sewing, crocheting, etc. These pictures are of our growing bebe taken yesterday as we were trying on a few of Brother's hand.me.downs...

I love this life. I love it all...

Peace, love, and Reflection.
xo
lmkw

Guess who comes home tomorrow?

2010-06-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

James Neal! My first born. My sweet number one. Our BooBoo.

He took a quick trip to Texas to visit his grandparents- but he should be home tomorrow mid.day. Gosh! Loving a child is EASY. Missing them is oh.so.hard.

Things that I love about the stage he is in now:
-His long legs with knobby knees... with little shiny leg hairs on them.
-The way he wants to be a man in all that he does... from axe body wash to kissing me good morning, he wants to be Big.
-The way he still drags his blanket around in the morning as he wakes up.
-Listening to him talk to Marcus about life and man stuff... like raising bebies and grocery shopping.
-His affection for fairy tales about Princes and Princesses and his imagination as he acts them out... always being the Prince.
-This budding since of right and wrong... and how his little heart CAN'T STAND anything that feels wrong. Like Nemo for example: He cries big tender tears when Nemo gets taken from his Daddy. His ability to turn off a show if it challenges what makes him feel safe inside.
-His bedtime prayers... he freelances what he feels in his heart. And most nights, he leaves my heart on the verge of popping.

Oh, James... come home. It's where you belong and we can't hardly breath without you. None of us. We are waiting!

Peace, love, and long.distance.phone calls,
xo
lmkw

Hello again!

2010-06-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

Oh! I know you don't feel it because I certainly haven't shown it... BUT I'm back and I missed you and I feel terrible about being away.

Yes, I do.

BUT trust me when I say that my absence hasn't been because I've lacked post.able things to write about OR that I lacked the desire to write... I've been busy.

BUT, you knew that already. Remember, I warned you? June is my busy month. I saw her coming. I was excited and scared before I ever met her the very first day of the month. But here I am, a little half-way through her with LOTS behind me but MORE left coming.

I've built in some slow time in July- although I keep getting desperate emails begging for summer photoshoots before fall... and you know I can't say 'no' to that. I've got a bebe to bring home! AND endless passion for family portraiture. Every shoot is an adventure and an HONOR. I've yet to drive away from a shoot, without feeling inspired, grateful, hopeful and AMAZED by the amount of love and energy mother's have with their children, husbands, etc. What a beautiful career God has built for me!!! All of that to say: looks like August may have to be my 'slow' month... ha! :)

Speaking of amazing sessions... I have completely many the past few weeks and have many on the books coming up- including a handful of newborns that will be here soonish. Each in their own time... LOTS of bebies coming up for me. Think about it: BEBIES! necked.bendy.miraculous newborns! Enough. I just can't take it. I can't wait to meet these bebe.bumps turned newborns soon. :)

WHICH won't help this pregnancy craving I've been fighting off lately. Oh, I want to be pregnant again. Oh, I'm ready for another youngin'! YES, it's true. But NO! I've got a bebe in Africa waiting for me!!! I can't go off and get pregnant until she is snuggled up safe in our nest... *sigh* Who knew I'd be this mother.earth.bring.me.childre type? Oh, but I am... bring me more bebies! :)

WHICH leads me to those tidbits! We are almost there!!! Our goal is getting closer with the adoption and we are looking forward to the end of the year to file our paperwork and get started on the homestudy and such. It.can't.come.fast.enough! But we are working hard to get her here and it feels so good to focus everyday on the little steps it is taking to get her home. She's NOT here yet. BUT she's a part of each and every day for us... through PRAYER and planning and MORE PRAYER and daydreams (oh, the daydreams). I can't believe this is my life! I can't believe that this dream is nearly a reality. I can't believe how overwhelming God's grace and mercy and LOVE is for me and my heart's desires. It's hard to wrap my brain around all that goodness. Makes me feel yellow inside. :) *And it motivates me to be kind in all I do... and generous... because I'm the receiver of the greatest Love known to Man. It's real and it fills my days up each and every day. I've got to give that away! I've got to...

I'm NOT teaching next week, so I really would love to host a post.a.day just to prove to you all that my BLOG isn't the red.headed.step.child in my life. :) Even if it's just for fun and for sillies. I'm doing it!

But for now, here are a few images from recent sessions that I'm proud of. Remember if you are interested in some mustard.seed.photography LOVE, email me at mustardseedphoto@gmail.com OR contact me through my website.

Now, for a little mustard.seed Bounty:

*The last isn't watermarked... I know. It's of my nephew. I was hired to come out and take team pictures, etc. What? mustard.seed action photography!?!? Yeah, nuts. :) Speaking of exciting new genres.... I'm working on something pretty dadgum exciting. Don't want to speak too soon, but mustard.seed.photography is beginning to consider an exciting new avenue of photography! Any guesses? ;)

Okay, I want to update you on my boy.joys soon! But for now, I sleep.
Thanks for loving me even when you click my page to see the same old update for two.weeks.straight!!! I'll do better as my life slows down. I will. I really really will.

Until then,
Peace, love, and Abundance.
xo
lmkw

Resurfacing

2010-05-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm back... briefly.

I can honestly say that the past two months time has been flying forward at warp speed. Perhaps this is Sign One that I am truly an adult. Our little birds are getting bigger and have begun new things like Tball and Almost.There.Walking. To highlight our busy schedule, the MommaBird has taken on more than ever before- a booming creative cottage business through her photography, and summer classes have begun at the Driving School. I can't say NO to any of our obligations because well, I love each one too much to choose a favorite. AND we are managing just fine through it all. :)

I miss writing though. I want to share more than just hasty updates thrown together over morning coffee... I want to write. Draft, revise, publish. I want the PROCESS of writing again. BUT I'm not gonna sweat it at this point.

June is my Big Month. Four classes of teenagers. Loads of editing and mustard.seed.photography shoots galore. My plan? Gather up my courage, keep things in perspective, delegate, and keep the java flowing. I'll work my way through it- and take it easyish in July and August.

Life is good. I turned 29 years old this past Monday. In that 24 hour span, 29 years after I arrived on this planet, I did three things I love with all of my heart: teaching. photography. and was a mother to my boy.joys. It's hard to believe that in my life, the things that I love most... my childhood dreams have come true. I've reached those goals and am working hard to meet more.

I have stories to share! My crazy furniture story! To make it short and sweet- I ran across a circa1940's dining room set of furniture while antique shopping with my mom (a little pre-birthday day.away). Bakelite knobs. Beautiful details. Incredible price. I loved it, Marcus knew it, and two days later it showed up at my house looking for a good home. Who said dining room furniture was for the Dining Room? I've turned one piece into a furniture cabinet in my bedroom. I love our little nest. And I love that it looks like us around here.

The boys are well! James finished up his first Tball season on a high.note. He was awarded the Game Ball- and it was a beautiful thing. I'm not sure he's ever wanted a single thing more in this life than that Game Ball... it would even show up in his prayers from time to time. :) As proud as I am of our first.born, I'm even prouder of his daddy. It was Marcus' first time coaching something like this- and I can honestly say that 12 little boys here in Zachary were encouraged by the kindest and most capable Coach around. It's amazing how his temperament and love.of.the.game makes him uniquely suited to mentor kids. I couldn't have been any prouder... of BOTH boys.

Jackson is growing before our eyes! He's something else, in fact. He's talking up a storm and walking everywhere (as long as there is a finger to hold on to). He has been ready to walk for a month, standing and sitting without any assistance at all. BUT he refuses to strike out on his own without help. Hard.headed, that on. And SMART!

I'm teaching next week- then will be off for a week. I hope to catch back up soon...
Until then, here are a couple of images from the past week or so. :)

***Thanks for the emails and comments fussing at me to update. Makes me smile!

Peace, love, and a.day.off!
xo
lmkw

mustard.seed.photography : { Baton Rouge, Louisiana Photographer }

2010-05-21T08:11:00.001-07:00

Oh! It's been nearly a week since we've been back from Texas and I haven't updated the bloggity.

A sign of the times for sure.

Our trip was fantastic. I slept, I shopped, I found vintage treasures, I got some date.time in with theHotness. Yea for Texas! :)

So- I updated my website with recent material from a handful of different shoots. Lately I've shot a lot of children sessions- so be sure to check out the 'Sprouts' tab. BUT there are heaps of new photographs in each category. Stop by and check them out! And if you want to say "Hi" drop some Contact love my way. :)

See that cute little polaroid button there to the right? -> Click it to view my site.

I've had LOTS of questions lately regarding Maternity and Newborn sessions. I need to start a photography blog and create a FB fan page- but until then, let me answer a few questions here.

When should I schedule a maternity shoot? What point in my pregnancy photographs best?

-Pregnancy is a crazy thing- and affects us expecting mother's all differently.
When I was pregnant I went through THREE distinct phases:
1.) I just look chubby.
2.) Perfectly.Pregnant
3.) Strutted.and.Swollen.don't.tell.me.I'm.pretty.you.are.lying pregnant.

So, I would say when YOU feel beautifully pregnant- let's do the session. Even if your bump isn't planet big yet--- but you feel beautiful in your own skin. I find that most women reach that perfectly.pregnant mark between week 27 - 32. *Contact me early so I can work you into my schedule.

I really want newborn portraits. How does that work? When should I book you and when/where do they take place?

-For infant photography I want to shoot within the first 7 days of birth. Anything up to two weeks would 'work' but TRUST ME, the earlier the better! They grow so fast and soon become very alert. For those peaceful, sleeping, curly bebe shots- let's shoot for any daytime within the first week.

-My infant photography takes place at your home. I bring the equipment I need to provide a variety of 'styles' there while you are tucked into the comfort of your own nest. *if you prefer location shoots for your infant, let's talk and see how we can maximize that style, without being too intrusive to the needs of the Tiny One.

-We can't schedule bebies. I've tried with my own- but they come when they come, inspite of my planning. :) I've been booking upwards of 2 months in advance (with a few exceptions) so CONTACT ME as soon as possible of your desires for a newborn shoot--- even if your due date is 4 or 6 months away- that way I can pencil your desires in during a month before your due date, just in case bebe surprises us early.

I want some mustard.seed Love. How early do I need to schedule my session?

-As soon as you know mustard.seed is for you... or as soon as you think it could be for you, let me know! I can give you an idea what my calendar looks like and will save the date of your choice. BUT more importantly, it will open up our communication and vision towards planning the perfect shoot for you and/or your family.

With a little time and deliberate planning, we can really create something special together. ***Right now I'm booked a month and a half out- with a couple of spots still available. Contact me ASAP for sessions in June/July- bc I only have select spots left. If you want to schedule FALL sessions, email now to get first dibs on dates.

A HUGE thank you to all of the mustard.seed supporters out there! Your little notes of encouragement serve as HUGE sources of inspiration as I refine my vision as a photographer. I'm just like you- 'cept with a camera and a wild.fire of passion for documenting the Extraordinary that is right under our noses.

It's not about creating something beautiful- because the creation is already done, spectacular, and has very little to do with US. It has to do with sincerely documenting the Spectacular that we've been entrusted with:

Your engagement. Your marriage. Your man. Your journey towards Motherhood. The miracle of birth. Your child. The connection between siblings. Your journey towards adulthood. The celebration of Seniors. The things you love. The people you love. The life you love.

That's what mustard.seed.photography is about. Your story and the Bounty within that story.

Take a minute to peruse my website!

Feel free to contact me and say "Hello."

peace, love, and vision.
xo
lmkw

A quick note before we head out...

2010-05-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Mother's day was like honey. It was just the thing I needed to remind me how the best things in life are right under my nose (or feet, rather). I woke up easy... was greeted with coffee and breakfast in bed... cards from each of my boys... some that sang songs, some that said really sincere things. Each being just right.

Then we headed out for a sword fight at NaNa's. James and NaNa have perfected their pirate play- and nothing beats watching them fence.it.out while sitting on the couch sipping coffee, adding the occasional motherly 'okay, now that's getting too rough' comment.

We met our favorite girls for a Mother's Day dinner at our favorite place then went to spend the evening downtown watching the sunset and letting the kids (husbands included) roll around in the grass and play ball. *Yes, there is always some sort of ball involved. I don't even pack one- it's just never out of reach from my boys for some reason.

theHotness insisted on bringing the camera along bc it's his tradition to grab a few 'momma and bebe' pics on Mother's Day. He thinks about these things... and he's actually really good at handling the 'big camera' and getting some good shots. I love that deliberate side of him.

So we ended our day doing what we do best: laughing, loving, and chasing down children.

It was perfection.

Here are a few shots I couldn't help but process before we head out. I love them all.

OH! A beautiful day... Just what this little momma needed. :)

Now, off to Texas for a spell. Not sure if I'm gonna blog while I'm away... But you'll see me again when we get home. :)

Peace, love, and vintage.baton.rouge.
xo
lmkw

Motherhood... it's just the best, really.

2010-05-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Oh! Today is Mother's Day. :)

It's a little built in day that Marcus and I reserved from our crazy schedule these past month or so...

I'm sitting here, in my robe, posting a few sneak.peeks from a beautiful maternity shoot... wrapping up a few client proofs... bebies napping... and a hot bath waiting in the back for me.

Life is good. :)

I've got amazing friends... women who build me up and push me forward. Women who grab my bebies as they make a break for the front door. Women who send me little notes of encouragement. Funny chics. Pretty chics. Hard.core.Momma chics. Pregnant chics who are new to this club. Oh!

I feel supported.
I feel strong.
I feel as hopeful as I have ever been in my life.

And that's due to my God. My incredibly.dreamy and ultra.strong husband- my secret ingredient behind all that I do. My girls. My sisters. My boys- the steady joy and purpose I feel every.single.day. AND all the mustard.seed mommas and bebies and families that inspire me to work hard, be brave, and make my dreams come true.

Here I am at 28... on the verge of 29- and I just feel like I'm livin' it! Everything I've ever wanted... and so much promise on the horizon.

Perspective is everything.
Life is in the details.
And I can feel it in my bones.

We will be celebrating Mother's Day for the next week in Houston. Oh, sweet Houston. I will be taking a break from my mustard.seed goodness to enjoy some insulated time with Marcus and the boys and our friends. Oh! I'm looking forward to that. Dinners out. Hopping around town with the boys and our Favorites during the day. A belated family party for Jax... Date nights alone with theHotness, my sweet Manly. And best of all: no laundry. no cleaning. no cooking. and no distractions. :) BRING IT.

Can't leave you without something beautiful! Sooo...

Here are a few sneaks from a recent maternity shoot.
Simply put, motherhood is amazing.
This mother is going to be amazing.
And it's just an overwhelming honor to have been the one to document it all...

Isn't she just amazing? Gosh, it's going to be hard to be away from these images for a whole week--- Loved how they turned out.

Happy Mother's Day to all you incredible women out there. You've answered the highest calling... and our world is a better, safer, more beautiful place because of your love, courage, and commitment. Thank you. :)

Peace, Love, and little.boys.who.call.me.Muver.
xo
lmkw

theDuckling's 1st Birthday

2010-05-05T08:31:00.000-07:00

Oh, I have so much to share! Celebrations mostly. Life has been full to the brim of beautiful happenings for our little family and for those around us we love most of all. Oh, we've been busy!

This past Sunday, we celebrated out littlest boy.joy's first birthday. Yes, theDuckling is now ONE. And what better way to celebrate than by inviting our favorite people over to share in the fun?

The theme?

Our boy, of course. Yep, the sweetest littleDuckling known 'round these parts.

The goodies?

Lots of old fashioned homemade deliciousness...

The cakes!

The precious party.folk!

The birthday boy in all his splendor!

After it was all said and done, guest were sent away with leftovers and wildflower seeds to plant at home. It was a beautiful day and it marked a huge milestone for our little family... Jackson Briggs is ours. He's still new and we still marvel at our little boy. James' eyes bat back tears anytime his best brother falls or is corrected in any way for that matter... I bat back the same watery.eyes when I see my boys go through their days together bonding as brothers and best friends.

We are in a good pattern right now. Everything fits just right. We aren't complete. Not yet... she's still out there for us to find. And mothering my precious boys each day proves to me that we have plenty of Love to go around.

I'll be 29 soon... and I'm overwhelmed when I think of how far I have come... and how pushed down and packed together my blessings have been. The most humbling feeling in the world. :)

Thanks to all my friends and loved ones who celebrated with us. My life is made sweeter by your contribution to my little life. I love my boys- but it's a crazy feeling to have yall love them, too.

Peace, love, and birthday.boys.
xo
lmkw

Big Changes!

2010-04-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

SO this past week has been a big one. In fact, something special has happened over the past seven days- something worthy enough for it's very own post.

TheDuckling grew a neck. Yes. *nodding* That's right, a neck. In the past week or so, he's grown his very own neck.

It looks good on him, No?

Take another look.

It's really somethin if you ask me. His perfect littleDuckling face use to be a round little dumplin sitting on top his soft little shoulders... but now, this new little neck is trying it's very best to lift that noggin up... 'E' for effort!

He's totally proud of himself... and without a doubt, his momma is too. :)

Peace, love, and liberated.neck.rolls.
xo
lmkw

theDuckling turns one!

2010-04-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

4.23.09

today...

A year ago my second son was born. I loved the pregnancy. I loved the anticipation. I loved knowing that for the most part, I was as ready as I could ever be for this child. We were in a different place this time around... both physically and figuratively. His brother made me a mother. So this time around, I was just waiting to meet my son and introduce him to the people that would be his forever.

A lug of a bebe born fragile at first. I read those old post and remember back thinking it was all roses. But when I watch his birth video, I can't hold back the tears. He struggled for each breath those first few hours... his chest pulling and jerking for air. I hated myself for consenting the the induction. Did I do this to my son? We were afraid of his size causing me to possibly need a Cesarean. Did he break his collarbone? Did I fail this bebe? We expected the worst but were blessed with a healthy (perfectly intact) bebe.boy. All I wanted to do was to hold him, monitor free, and nurse him to sleep... I didn't get that wish until nearly 10 hours after he was born. But nurse we did... during those first handful of months. And I loved every quiet moment with my littleDuckling tucked into me.

Jackson has brought more joy into our lives than we were prepared for. He was an easy infant and is growing into such a happy and content toddler. From an early age, he was more alert than James was at that age... and you didn't have to work hard for a full belly laugh or flashy smile. He's pureJOY..

Now as he rounds his first year, he has a list of words: momma, daddy, bubba, thank you, uh oh, one-two-threeee, and bottle. He signs for more, milk, please, and all done. He can stand by himself- but isn't yet brave enough to make those first steps unassisted. He loves to dance and read. Pat.a.Cake and play ball. He waves hello and goodbye and can blow kisses. But if you are luckiest of all, he will give you the slowest, sweetest, wettest kiss right on your face (or leg or head or whatever is closest when the mood strikes). His 'muah' kissy sound is quite dramatic. He absolutely adores his big brother and his daddy. He's eating table foods and loves his sippy cup. Although he is so similar to his big brother- he is very much his own person and he reminds us of that everyday.

I can't believe he is already a year old. I can honestly say that I was prepared to be overwhelmed taking care of two- but it's been nothing but steady joy. I've had moments of frustration- but NOTHING like I anticipated. I'm a happy mother of two and can't imagine my life without my precious boys.

Today we will celebrate at a restaurant then organic, gourmet cupcakes and dancing! His big birthday bash will follow...

There was a time where we crumbled at the thought that perhaps children of our own weren't in our future. We suffered loss and endured great pain... but as promised, our Hope was new again and our lives were transformed forever with the arrival of our bebies.

I'm so grateful that this child is a part of my story. He could be anyone's child. But he isn't. He is ours. Hand.picked just for us... wonderfully and fearfully made reminding me each day that God loves us most of all. My boys (all three) are a constant source of inspiration for me... and I'm so grateful to be present enough to notice the details of it all. I've been blessed beyond measure.

***As of this morning, the birthday boy is in fine.form!

We started our celebration off with buckwheat.birthday.waffles with just a scant drizzle of agave nectar and a touch of whipped cream. From there, he threw each sticky piece on the floor proclaiming, "UH OH!" with each splat. He yelled for his usual yogurt! :)

He fussed if I was in the room. Fussed if I was out of the room. And fussed if his brother provided him too much attention or too little. When I say 'fuss'- to Jackson, that means he stands on his tip toes, arches his back and sticks out his Buddha belly, crinkle his face and make the loudest growly yell, bearing his two little white teeth until his face turns the deepest shade of crimson. Quite the spectacle. Intermingled in the fussing, he yelled at the top of his lungs for his Daddy over and over (and over) again crawling from room to room looking for him... slapping the ground as he went. Birthday conspiracy!!

See?

Yes, that's how we started our morning. Needless to say, we popped a few teething tablets and got back into bed with Bamboo and Basil and Mr.X and snuggled under his favorite blanket... Here's hoping he takes a nice birthday nap.

I'll keep yall updated as our week of festivities play out.

peace, love and theDuck.
xo
lmkw

Cookies and Couch time...

2010-04-20T20:04:00.001-07:00

Oh sweet blog!

I'm only gonna stop to say 'hi' tonight. I know I need to post all the new stuff going on with us--- and there is a LOT of stuff to share--- but theHotness is getting lost in the shuffle of crazyBusy life, so I'm gonna go grab some couch time with him...

But.
James stuck popcorn kernels up his nose.

We've played two Tball games and it's... so much stinkin fun.

I'm busier than ever with mustard.seed.photography- and that makes me a hundred shades of happy.

I'm meeting my newest boy.joy this week- that I've only had a long.term relationship with--- yes, Moses and his sweet momma will be touching down here in less than 48 hours!!! Totally pumped about all that jazz.

theDuckling turns ONE YEAR OLD on Friday... holy cow!
ANNNNND his birthday extravaganza is the next weekend.

Throw in a couple bebe.showers/birthday parties/photoshoots in between the particulars and I'm just blowin.and.goin!

I promise to come back when I have a sec and fill you in on the good stuff.

*And bc I can't post without a pic... take a look! :)

Just some recent mustard.seed.photography love...

Peace, love, and herb gardens.
xo
lmkw

My Love.List

2010-04-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

(image from weheartit.com)

***This post is inspired by my friend, Meghan aka MamaMoses aka sweetMegs...

Now, after spending 90+ days in Uganda away from family and friends, their Love.List is jammed full of amazing appreciations and reflections... and the 'roughest' time I can claim lately was when the AC went out for a day. So, just so you know- I respect the guts out of this woman...

That being said, I've got so much to be grateful for... and look forward to.

Wait? Can I change this to a Love.Look.Forward list???

1.) I can't wait for James' first Tball game tomorrow night. Marcus is coaching and they are so excited. He's got the sweetest little team... I can't wait to be a mom in the stands and cheer my men on.

2.) I CAN'T WAIT to meet Moses Matt when he gets home to his new home here in the United States of America... and his vibrant momma, Meghan. It's been such a journey to get him home where he belongs, and I'm flat out ready to partay.

3.) Can't wait for this weekend. Marcus' office is hosting a 'family day' allowing kids and spouses to come to work to check things out. James has ALWAYS begged to go to work with him- so this will be monumental. Can't wait to see Marcus' daily environment and see James' reaction to his Daddy's work stuff.

4.) I'm excited about theDuckling's birthday... and the festivities. I've always said to celebrate milestones, and one full year getting to know this exceptional little creature is certainly worth celebrating. It's another step in the right direction... another year living abundantly... and I'm so grateful for that.

5.) I can't wait to file for this adoption. It's still months away but I just can't help but wish we filed yesterday. I trust that God's timing and our careful planning is what we need to do, but I'm just ready to be a mom again- but this time to a big brown eyed angel.bebe. Like I told sweetMeghan today in an email, I'm obsessed with Africa. Translation: this adoption takes money- so if you have a spare 25k laying around cluttering up things, just let me know. :) *God willing, our little adoption bank account will be fat.and.happy come the end of the year...

6.) I've got a maternity shoot coming up and I can't wait to get this momma in front of the camera. OH! I adore mommas... and I'm waking up at night with ideas. I love mustard.seed.photography and all the opportunity it's opened up for me. I'm so grateful to have it in my life and to have my mustard.seed families cheering me on.

7.) I'm grateful for this time in my life: kids underfoot. dinners together at night. sand table time. laying on the grass with bebies that smell like sunshine and clovers... It will never get old. Ever.

8.) I'm grateful for my friends and sisters who keep me grounded. I'm like a balloon and I'm likely to float off when the wind blows... and my friends call me out. keep me linked. encourage me. They tell me to stop whining... to start working... and to stay open. They don't take me too seriously. They never kick me when I'm down and are the first people to show up or call or email when they feel me losing my way. No matter if they live next door, or states away. Whether we talk everyday or once in a blue moon. We never miss a beat. It's never about what I can do for them- but what they can do for me... and that amazes me. I cherish that kind of generosity. And more than anything, they love my kids. From their mother.hearts, they love my kids. So grateful.

9.) I'm grateful for theHotness. I'm grateful for his tenderness towards me and my feelings. I love the way he plans. Quietly planning, getting things done... making my dreams come true. When he says he is going to do something, he does. All the time, every time. He's a true parent to the boys, never separating parenting roles... He's calm. Quiet. Manly, but not macho. And he's a tireless worker. It's hard to imagine, but he loves me best of all. Still. And I thank God for the gift of his love and devotion to our little family every night.

10.) I'm grateful that no matter what, no matter if I'm happy or sad, good or bad- I serve a living God who shows up every.single.day to help me through things. Sometimes I get these beautiful broad strokes of His presence in my life... but I'm grateful most for the small tangible ways He is with me. When I lose my cool with the kids. When I'm not sure if I'm fit to parent another day more. When James is crying for cereal and I'm CERTAIN that we are out of milk- but yet, there is jussst enough to squeak out a bowl to quiet down the Whine. When I feel lonely or unsure and a Divine Peace comes over my heart- quieting down my head. When my kids do things daily- and have an absolute burst of appreciation and gratefulness that I am who I am, living this life, and that they were given to ME of all people... I'm grateful for the absolute confidence that NOTHING could EVER happen to separate me from my Heavenly Father and His love. No illness or misfortune or tragedy can ever separate me from direct access to my Maker. He meets me just as I am, every.single.day. I have NOTHING to fear... not a thing. I have every reason in this world to Hope. I have every reason in this world to Love and give Love freely.

I think I'll stop there with those...

Oh, is it too late to throw in *I'm grateful for date.nights? Cause my sweetCousin just texted and may kick us out the house soon so she can get kissy.lovey.dovey with her favorite boys... I'm SO ready. :) SOready. Carrie, I'll love you forever and ever and ever. :)

Peace, love, and little.booties.in.baseball.britches.
xo
lmkw

What happens if you DON"T brush your teeth...

2010-04-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

For the most part, it's fair to say that I'm a very deliberate parent. I read books about it. I search the Internet about it. I talk to people I admire and get their take on things. I'm not scared by new ages or stages that my kids go through and I feel that if something comes up that I'm not sure how to handle, with a little time and effort, I can figure it out...

But

Tonight? Well I just sort of went with it. Freelanced. Off.the.cuff sort of parenting that rarely happens around here.

Hey. I had an urge and an opportunity, so I took it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time....

Here's how it went down: James is quite the Big Boy lately. He thinks about things... deeeeep things. He asks questions about big issues. There is no doubt that he's making connections and trying his best to figure out this Great.Big.World and who he is in the whole grand scheme of things.

I love it. I mean, I LOVE it. It's fun to have a matter.a.fact conversation about our bodies and privacy. It's fun to hear his take on the weather... stars... planets. It's cute to hear his view on why daddies are Daddies and why mommas are Mommas. The best part is when you hit the jackpot and he starts talking about God or Jesus or Heaven, etc. I get to listen and hear how his little brain works. And I'm always impressed and entertained and recommitted to loving this little human being.

But in his talking, you get a lot of 'Why' questions... or even the occasional, bold 'No, Momma... I fink I'm not gonna do dat.' reply. Yes, the big.bad.Back.Talk. *sigh* I believe in explaining some of my decisions- but many many of my decisions aren't up for discussion. When I say to do this or that- I want a happy and compliant 'yes, momma' response. *With exceptions of course.

SO here it is: We were getting ready for bed and I told him to get started brushing his teeth. He's 4 years old and has had teeth for 4 years minus 3 months- so it's safe to assume we have had this EXACT same routine for nearly 98% of his life. Tonight I got something to the effect of 'No, Momma. Not tonight. I don't need to tonight because I brushed my teeth yesterday.' *I was on the computer and he was in his bathroom about... oh, I'd say about 11 feet away from my chair. It was a dumb argument. We all know that what you did yesterday with your dental hygiene doesn't apply 24 hours, a Popsicle, ear of chocolate easter bunny, and birthday cake later... Dumb dumb kid. If you are gonna take me on, at least give me something legit to argue. So, what did I do, you wonder?

Hey, come see something really quick.
*glad to leave the bathroom stool, he quickly trots over...
Okay, you see this? (I google searched rotten teeth images, and grabbed the very first pic)

See that guys teeth? He didn't brush his teeth everyday. Nope. He didn't think he needed to... and that's what happens when you don't brush your teeth.*In the length of time it took me to say those three.ish sentences, I clicked over to an image of beautiful white teeth... and up close image of a woman's beautiful smile...
See this lady's teeth? Aren't they beautiful? She brushes her teeth every day... every morning and every single night. And because she takes such good care of them, she has a beautiful, healthy smile. What do you think?

***Instantly he split and ran back to the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush.
He actually brushed them twice... took him nearly 10 minutes... Fronts. Backs. Sides.

Victory? Nailed it? Interesting, yet effective take?

Wells, maybe not.

It totally and utterly freaked him out. He's a thinker. A wonderer. A dweller. And that 25 sec. view of rotten teeth made him ask about 72.ish questions about dental hygiene... wide eyed... catching his breath... panicked. He was in his bed, with his blue lovey blanket clutched up high under this chin. Then he uttered up the most fervent prayer to Jesus about keeping sugar off his teeth so that his teeth wouldn't fall out and turn brown. It was a sad beggy.type prayer. Then he layed his head down on his star covered pillow and with the widest blue eyes looking towards the wall, with a shutter of his tiny body said, "Momma. I'm totally freaked out."

Maybe that was a bit too harsh for a 4 year old... a tender 4 year old. Maybe he's scared for life. He begged me to brush his teeth again for him right when he wakes up in the morning. Maybe I've created the first obsessive compulsion for him... Dumb dumb mother. Rookie mistake. Bush league.

*sigh*

I guess thats what can happen when you just make it up as you go along...

*for the record, theHotness scolded me and gave me a 'way to go, lindsey'... then he told James that 'your momma is kooookie and that picture was just make.believe and your teeth will never look like that' speech. Liar.

So my question for you is this: Is it better to be honest and instill a little healthy fear into a kid for his own good--- OR is it better to be a liar?

**disclaimer**
I'll hate your guts if you take his side... and I'm betting right now that Moon and Carley and others WILL take his side bc they love him and think he's almost.perfect. But I'll still hate their guts for a day... or two. ;) At least I'm being HONEST.

Peace, love, and fluoride.
xo
lmkw

Easter.Blessings

2010-04-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

It was hard to greet this Easter holiday without drawing an immediate comparison to where we were this time last year. Or, where I was this time last year.

I was about two weeks from delivering my second child, theDuckling. My belly was swollen with the promise of a big, healthy boy.child. I grappled at finding ways to look presentable and ways to feel feminine. As a woman who has carried two bebies to term, there comes a time in a pregnancy where a clear line is drawn. It's a tangible line in the sand where pregnancy takes over- and you just have to let.well.enough.be and surrender yourself to the spectacle that is Motherhood. That's all there is to it. Forget those chipped toe.nails. The untameable cleavage. The strutted.swayed.back posture that defies the shear force of gravity.

In a year, so much has changed. Little things. Bigger things. Things that didn't matter at all... So much change. Changes that hurt a little. Changes that I didn't even noticed happened at all.

And here I am sitting on top of nearly an entire year. My little nest has orbited the sun nearly one complete year. So, it's only natural to look back and dive into reflection.

I'm glad I've traded in my body from something that resembled a pot.belly.minnow to something more trim and neatly kept. Though I do miss the boobs a little. But I gladly traded in the double.chin for my pre.preggers bra size.

But more than the obvious, I'm glad that Life pushed our little family into Change.

TheDuckling has made me a better mother. He's made James into a brother. And he's added another layer of value to Marcus' daily efforts and motivation. I've learned the give and take that comes with multiple children and believe that moderation, in any amount, is a good thing for me. I'm an over.the.edger... tip.of.the.topper... almost.too.mucher. So that's good. I've come to value myself more as a mother- now having to raise another little individual human being while keeping the ship afloat. AND I'm intensely secure with the vision I have for my life and my family's. He's added a whole new facet to this life that I never even knew could exist.

That's not to say that I haven't had my 'sick.and.tired' moments... or pity.parties in grand scale. Because, you know, I've got more chicks in my basket this time around- to keep out of toilets, and limbs lotioned, and wind.pipes free and clear of obstructions, etc. All in a days work, right?

But it all boils down to this: the holidays that find me on the floor surrounded by the most spectacular creatures I've ever seen. Ones that look like us. Talk like us. Smell like us. Taking joy in the simplest things on Earth in the most relevant and authentic way possible... by presenting those opportunities for the first time to your kids- and then stepping back to marvel in it all.

So much of what I thought I would ever want in life has been made irrelevant by the privilege of motherhood.

Last year I could only guess at where a year would bring us... and now looking back, it's nice to know that the hardest things during that 'first year of life' could throw at you are in the past. A whole years worth of effort, grit, sacrifice and consistency are behind us... with a lifetime of possibilities ahead. Sure more effort lies ahead- but that's the guarantee with kids. No matter what effort or how much effort you give out, more pleasure than can be measured is returned back to you.

There are lots of things in this life that I don't have or haven't accomplished yet... (or maybe ever). But I'm pretty sure what I do have points directly to God's Love.Abundant in my little place in on this earth. And for that, I'm glad I was given the opportunity to receive it.

Peace, love, and azaleas.
xo
lmkw

Easter.Lovin

2010-04-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

And lovin' we did do.

We hosted family at our house this year... which means the food was plentiful and the photos were few. Bc who's gonna stir that custard on the stove AND take pics of Jax eating the Easter grass? Can't be in two places at one time... but I learned that lesson long ago.

James got some candy in his basket this year. BIG splurge for this momma. But what could one day of treats hurt? *Besides my sanity :)

It was a beautiful weekend filled with lots of reflection. My house was clean. I treated myself with fresh flowers from WholeFoods: long fresh stems of lilacs... bunches of tulips in my favorite colors... green hydrangeas... and as the Easter song goes 'an orchid for your momma'--- 'cept I got one orchid from each of my manlies. :) Long branches of white phals. *My favorite*

We hunted eggs and stayed uncomfortably stuffed from all the yummies for nearly three days. The boy were clean. Healthy. In matching outfits. Jackson declared Easter as his favorite holiday so far simply because the plastic eggs were the most amazing things he has ever laid eyes on. So much for his new Basil BlaBla... Hello, 97 cent target eggs.

God is good. My debt is paid. I'm redeemed. My family is well. My boys are brilliant. My husband still makes me weak.in.the.knees. Our little nest is warm and soft and dry. Our future is full of Hope and Promise. I can't imagine needing anything more.

I have tons of pics to share... I'm editing them now. I'll update with a picture post soonish.

Peace, love, and Blessed Assurance.
xo
lmkw

mustard.seed. SPRING :)

2010-04-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

Friday I had an invigorating photo shoot with a lovely mustard.seed momma and bebe.

The venue was spectacular and the subjects were oh.so.lovely.

It's always funny to work with families capturing pictures... you never know what you are going to have to work with. Luckily, I've never had a single family that hasn't made my job easy! BUT this little duo were exceptional. The momma is a teacher! And let.me.tell.you.one.thing--- teacher.moms are the best to work with.

For example, lots of parents have the urge to say: 'look here! Smile! Over here! Sit still! Turn around!' etc. AND that's sooooo normal and natural. But lots of times that backfires. The child gets aggravated and before you know it- they are so *over* having their picture taken. BUT from the first drop of my shutter, this momma knew how to do it! "Oh, what colors are those flowers? How many do you think there are? What do they smell like? etc" IT WAS HEAVEN! Bc that's exactly what helps me get great images... The shoot was fun! No fussing or begging... just plain go.with.it.fun.

I love it when that happens...

Here are some of the special sneak*peeks.

***Oh, I just love it! Every family that invest in me and my work blesses me in so many ways. They take part in making my dreams come true... fueling my professional creativity BUT also contributing to our bebe.girl adoption fund.

There are studios on every corner. They could go ANYWHERE to have their picture taken. But instead they give me a chance to create something special just for them. I'm different. I'm unconventional. I'm new. But they support me and encourage me and rally behind my efforts. I'll always appreciate my mustard.seed families and the difference they make in my life.

Thanks ladies for spending your Good Friday with me! Yall made my job easy. :)

Peace, love, and tulips.
xo
lmkw

The plan

2010-04-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Many of you have asked what I had up my sleeve for theDuckling's First Birthday...

I've struggled with the mere idea that he has a birthday coming up...

But he does.

He's almost a ONE year old.

Moon and I were talkin about it the other night...

So, here is the plan:

We will drape the clubhouse in spools and spools of tulle. Little fat.necked.cheribs will hover high near the corners of the ceiling playing little tiny violins. Rock candies will fill tall apothecary jars. The cake will be 14 layers high and be filled with raspberry creme. The chairs and tables will be dripping in white silk. And fresh sweetpeas will be bundled at each place setting. A happy little lady bug will be sitting on the dew.dropped leaves. There will be little Momma ducks waddling around with tiny ducklings following close behind. The children will chase happy bunnies through the grass. A harpist with long, white angel wings and a sparkly halo will be strumming a heavenly tune and Jackson will be sitting in the center of it all laughing and clapping and smiling and shining everyone dizzy. Then after we all sing happy birthday, we will all stand in a circle and release doves that have little tiny wishes on tiny rolled parchment that are tied to their little birdie.feet... they will billow up high into the air as the sun sets over the lakes...

That's how we will celebrate theDucklings birthday.

:)

Happiness: in an eggshell

2010-03-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

This past week I've been teaching a crew of Spring Breakers at the Driving School. I love working with my teenagers. It's one of the things about life that I love most... So I was plenty happy 'as is' this week. BUT I got over.the.moon happy when my dad called me while I was teaching.

I was on a roll with my kids teaching them something or other when he interrupted me. He said something to the effect: I'm sorry to slow you down- but I keep forgetting to tell you, You're NEVER gonna believe this. Don't freak out in front of the kids... (okay okay tell me already!) Miss Lovely *our new receptionist* has chickens! You can get as many fresh eggs as you want! (I'm trying not to embarrass myself with excitement) And it gets better... She has Araucanas!!!

And then it happens, I get entirely too excited. That means, that I have an unlimited supply of fresh, organic, free range chicken eggs. But not just any fresh.organic.free.range.chicken.eggs- but the most beautiful eggs in shades of greeeeens and blues. Yes, seriously. I danced a jig and my kids laughed at me.

See?

This shot is straight out of my camera.. no editing at all. I placed them next to an Eggland's Best Organic FR egg for comparison.

Here they are next to brown and white eggs...

Gorge, right?

I almost plowed Miss.Lovely over with my egg.zeal- Your mental pic is prolly fairly accurate. :)

So after much careful thought, I've decided to celebrate this windfall of good fortune with homemade custard... banana pudding for these beauties.

Bread pudding with this dozen...

annnd, the rest I will boil and leave in their natural shade as a part of my Easter table decor... *sigh*

They will then be peeled. Whites to one side, yolks to another. Smashed, whipped, matched with fresh herbs and some of my fresh homemade sun vinegar... then stuffed back into their halved whites... sauteed til crisp in a little olive oil to top a bed of fresh french lettuces. Oh boy.

Life is in the details, folks. :)

Peace, love, and hens.
xo
lmkw

The countdown begins...

2010-03-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

The other day I had a "you want my numbers!?!" moment. You know in the movie Erin Brockovich where the next door neighbor dude is trying to hit on her- asking for her (phone)number? And she just let him have it reciting the numbers of her children, their ages, etc? Well I felt sort of like that the other day--- no motorcycle dude was trying to pick me up... In fact, I was alone in my kitchen putting away dishes I think. And my mind just went there.

Parenthood is about stages and phases. Or at least for me it is. As soon as I get cozy in one phase of life, time has a way of pushing me forward forcing change... forcing growth.

We registered James Neal for PreK this past week. I know. It shouldn't be a big deal. Tons of kids are in daycare. Lots of kids are in 'pre'school at age 2 or 3. I'm a early childhood reading teacher turned SAHM--- so James learned at home. With me. But now, it's time for him to get a full year of preschool under his belt before taking on the brave.new.world of kindergarten.

I wanted a good reputable half.day program. Something that would have him home around noon or something... but after much deliberate research and consideration- my area doesn't have a half.day program that is *ahem* up to my standards. That sounds terrible, right? No. Maybe not. Other than God and Family- Education is the most important thing in our house... So whatever it takes. Which means, we enrolled him in the best program available to us in our area- and that program is a full day program. :( I was digging around the school's website last night, like a mommy.stalker- and I just came undone. I'm not ready for this. The idea of my boy being away from me... for the bulk of his day... being taught by someone else- is almost too much to bear. BUT bear it I must. Because that's what parents do. They abandon themselves and their own selfish desires to give their kid every opportunity to succeed in life. And if that means pretending to be happy about it, then okay. Fine. I'll smile. James is over.the.moon excited about going to school... so we are going to give this a shot.

In four weeks, theDuckling turns One Years Old. What? It's hard for me to make sense of that. I can remember being pregnant with him at Easter. I can remember his first smile... the day he found his feet. The day I found him sucking on his big toe. Now he's standing by himself... can say a handful of things... knows what he wants. He's my bebe. Everyday he's learning something new and growing up. If his first year went by this fast- how long before he starts preK?

So here are some numbers for you?

5 months until James starts 'school.'
4 weeks until Jax turns 1.
2 months til I celebrate my 29th birthday.
2 weeks until James plays his first Tball game.
9 months until James is 5 years old.

The good news? *It's all good news really- I know... it just has a way of making my nose tingle and eyes tear up a bit... But the more time passes, the closer we are to filing for adoption of our girl.bebe. And that makes my heart leap for joy... I just don't want to anticipate the future so much that I overlook today.

You know?

I love my kids. I love motherhood. I've never felt more alive or more Purpose in my life... I was made to be a mother. Even though it's hard to parent them day in and day out- loving them is easy. I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to stay at home with them... keeping the out of daycare and being their First Teacher. It's always been my goal to be able to stay at home with my kids- but the fact that theHotness feels the same way, makes it so much nicer. To have him value this job to such an extent, gives me the ability to give this brief time in our lives all I've got. And for that- I think I'll love him forever...

So sweet readers, that's it. I feel flimsy with all this change going on around here. I'm grateful to have so much to hang on to... but I know that being the best parent I can be for my boys means sucking all this Smother.Mother up... and smile as we plan 1st birthdays and talk backpacks. I'll pretend if it gives them confidence. I'll smile if it allows them to dream without holding back.

But I won't like it. Today anyways. Maybe tomorrow. But for today, I'm going to wish for a pause button.

*all the pics in this post are from the past few months... random iphone pics of the little joys that I find every day.

Peace, love, and lumpy.throats.
xo
lmkw

Lasagna Anyone?

2010-03-21T16:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, I hate lasagna. Always have, always will. But this post isn't about food... it's about gardening.

I come from a long line of gardeners. My great.grandfather was a sharecropper in Mississippi. I've only heard stories from my mother and grandparents, but I believe that out of their poverty grew great ingenuity, perseverance and a whole heap of other good things. Traits that I believe I have in my blood... who make me, in part, who I am today.

My grandfather- the grand.man whose name was given to my first.born, was a master gardener himself. I grew up between long rows of tomato plants... fuzzy, green towers on either side of me. Heaps of compost mounded into tall, round.top rows with deep trenches on either side for walking- or crawling... rows strait as arrows as far as my little eyes could see.

He had several gardens spaced over his acreage and grew everything.
Corn. Butter Beans. Peanuts. Potatoes. Squashes. Cucumbers...
But my favorite crop was his Sugar Cane. During the warm months, we'd walk to the cane and he'd let us pic out a stalk. He'd reach into the pocket of his work jumper and pull out his pocket knife and in one circular motion ringing around the stalk with his knife and thumb, he'd cut a 6" or so piece off right above the cane joint. Then with the stalk in one hand, he'd run the flat side of his blade down the cane, peeling off the tough skin in one smooth motion. He'd cut little half inch plugs off and spit them in half, and give them for us to chew.

The taste is like nothing else. Warm. Sweet. Sort of heady like syrup or honey. The stalk would crunch beneath my teeth pressing the sweet liquid out... I'd chew and chew, sucking all the sweet out- then we'd spit the pulpy fiber part out on the ground of the pasture as we'd walk from the cane patch to our next adventure.
*Me and Tboy running back from the pond and Back40... along side of one of PawPaw's acre long gardens.

My mother inherited his green thumb and flare for the dramatic. My mom is happiest when she is elbow deep in dirt planting, transplanting, pruning, picking... There hasn't been a year in my life that my mom hasn't grown a summer and winter garden with bumber crop yields. Except the year after my grandfather died... This is her there in the photo below.
I was a married woman before I ever bought jelly at the store. Growing up, we ate what we grew, canned, froze and put up in the freezer. Putting up our produce was a family affair--- we all pitched in scraping those corn cobs, or wiping the tops of the mason jars as they came out of their water bath. We ate the fish we caught fresh nearly every week. I have healthy habits now, because I lived them all my life.

As newlyweds, we bought our first little house nestled deep into my Favorite Forest, I was determined to grow something... Even in my apartment years, I never went without container herbs. My established yard was covered in dappled shade most of the day, but still, I was able to grow tomatoes and peppers along my fence line and fell into raising 82 monarch butterflies from eggs. I grew generations of sunflowers, saving seeds from the spent heads each year.

Even though it was minuscule in the grand scheme of what my mom and grandfather could do- My mom raved over my pesto and laughed over my landscaped beds turned vegetable gardens.

And now... OH! Two summers have gone by in our new house and no garden. It's just so intimidating. First of all, I live in a new construction with minimal landscaping. The majority of space is just sodded ground on top of river clay and other uninhabitable stuff. I hate the idea of having to cut in new beds and amend the soil. It would take so much just to get the soil conditioned enough to support life. And our neighborhood restrictions limits vegi gardens to raised beds only. SOooo that's what I'm thinking!

James loves gardening and growing things. Bugs. Butterflies. Vegis. He's always been underfoot exploring as I planted our garden each summer in Texas. He's raised ladybugs and monarch butterflies from eggs/pupas.
*He's 2.5 years old here...

And besides all that- I believe, I want to believe that part of that grand.man lives inside his little soul. That maybe... somehow... they share more than a name. And I want Jax to share the same experiences, too.
*James chewing on a freshly picked Purple Hull Pole bean from NaNa's garden... he's almost 5 months here.

*One and a half years old...

*Three years here after James pulled a bucket full of turnips.

So with all of my reservations aside, I've researched raised bed gardening... and my mom threw an idea at me: Lasagna gardening. She picked the book up for a dollar on one of her thrift/junk/antique shopping trips. It's an organic method of gardening that utilizes a sheet composting method. Basically, I won't be tilling down into the soil, adding amendments to the soil to make it usable--- but rather composting in layers, building my own dirt upwards. I'm very familiar with composting... and having unlimited supply of Black Gold from my mom's pile--- but I've never composted for myself, other than simple stuff like using grass clippings and leaves to mulch in existing beds.

SOOOO... James and I are working on the areas that we want to put our raised bed or three. We are shooing for a small vegi garden with Tomatoes, peppers, pole beans, and maybe if we have space- squash, and cucumbers. And a hefty herb garden... with flowers mixed in. We've got a few blackberry and blueberry bushes that are patiently waiting to get out of their pots and into the ground...

***We've got so much going on at our little house--- our boys are growing up! I hope I can get this together before too long. It would have been better for me to have built my beds in the fall- and let them 'cook' and break down all winter--- BUT I didn't do that. *sigh* So I may just press on and see what happens...

Anyone with barn litter, leaves, and other high carbon materials to compost? I'll totally come and pick them up!!!

Peace, love, and peat.moss.
xo
lmkw

To the Moon...

2010-03-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I loaded up the car and drove to Houston to attend Tate Henry's 5th Birthday. He's my best friend's little boy and I adore him. He's James' best friend and we couldn't imagine not being there to help him celebrate.

Tate's dearest obsession is Star Wars. Needless to say, we celebrated his birthday at Space Center Houston. James thought the whole place was magical... and I'd have to agree with him. It was. We left theDuckling with the grandparents- which means I got to be completely hands.on with the Big Boys.

But let's back.track. Stop One: Granna's for cupcakes and presents!

Then to space!

James Neal checking out the current astronaut roster... so attentive!

The Great Slide was prolly my favorite part. It's about 3 stories high or so... and we all went down together in one big smushed pile. You really forget how much fun it is to be a kid... :)

Oh my goodness! What a trip! We treated the boys to matching astronaut suits and helmets on our way out. Aren't they just the sweetest things? *Thanks Moon for inviting us to take part in things... I can't tell you what it means to me to have yall sharing this life with us. :)

I'm so glad to be a mom. Becoming a parent is such a dramatic transformation... but I've never been happier in my whole life. And I believe it all stems from Love. More love than you could ever imagine... it's heavenly. :)

Peace, love, and mission.control.
xo
lmkw

UPDATE: Meghan & Moses in Uganda

2010-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

***UPDATE*** We've sold all the jambalaya we have! But if you still want to donate to this fantastic situation, follow the link to their blog and donate there. Thanks so much to my friends and readers! See yall Thursday. xo

Oh sweet readers!!!

Remember my friend Meghan? And her trip to get her 3 year old son Moses? Remember? Well TWO MONTHS LATER and she is STILL IN UGANDA!

Basically the court systems are still ironing out the new 'details' that will legally allow her and 25 other American citizens to return home with their children. But until then, they must remain in Uganda... it's been 2 months... and is likely to take even more time.

HOWEVER, Meghan has filed a 'new' adoption case citing medical concerns allowing her to adopt Moses in Uganda and bring him back to the states for treatment. This may allow her to return home with Moses sooner rather than later. But starting over from scratch with a new adoption case has it's stresses. One being the new legal fees and plane flight necessary to get her hubby, Chris, to Uganda to attend these necessary hearings.

So........... we plan on pitching in by making sure that The Matts have the money necessary to GET THIS DONE and get this mother and bebe HOME where they belong!

(If you look close, you can see his little dimple right there on the side of his cheek... Which makes Moses the third little boy with dimples that I'm officially in love with. :)

I'm SO EXCITED! YOU can help this sweet Momma and her precious family!

If you live in the Greater Baton Rouge Area, please consider purchasing a Jambalaya Lunch/Dinner this Thursday, March 18th.

Here are the official details taken from their website:

Bringing Moses Home!
Jambalaya Box Lunch Sale
$5.00 a box
We will deliver!

Meghan Matt has been in Uganda for 6 weeks battling for her son. She has been fighting to bring Moses home!

IT’S TIME!

On March 26th, Chris and Meghan will present their adoption case to a judge. He will see their complete and utter love for their child. He will be moved by the attachment Moses has to his Mommy. He will be touched by the extreme lengths The Matt’s have gone to have their son home where he belongs.

WE NEED TO GET THEM THERE!

The unexpected expenses of Meghan’s extended stay, adoption cost and flights have drained their savings. By ordering lunch you are helping Chris fly to Uganda. You will be helping him be with his wife and son as they prepare for their hearing. You will be bringing a mother and son home. You will be reuniting a family after nearly 2 months.

Ask your office, your church and family members if they would like to enjoy a wonderful lunch and be a blessing to a family at the same time. We will deliver for orders of 5 or more box lunches. Please comment below with your name, phone number, email address, number of boxes and if you would like to have your lunch delivered. We will contact you for directions if you choose to have your lunch delivered.
****************

Yippee!!!

So! For $5 bucks you don't have to worry about making dinner AND you get to make a difference that will change a life!

Well, I suppose you would change more than a life- but lives (mine included) :) I'm just ready to meet this little.man and I know for a fact that he has new shoes waiting in his closet right now that are meant for his feet! And I, of all people, know how fast boys grow (!!!) We've GOT to get this bebe home before his feet get too big. :)

***If any of my ZACHARY/CENTRAL readers want to order a lunch/dinner let me know! I'll bring it to you!!!

We are going to do whatever we can to bring our friends HOME!!!

Besides, I'm ready to start planning a 'Welcome Home Meg & Moe' party. I want to hear his laugh for myself and see his pearly.white smile in person!!! :)

***And if you are outside of our city, that stinks because WE HAVE THE BEST FOOD EVER here in South Louisiana! Fact.

But if you feel compelled to donate regardless, bring it Sugar! :) I know they have a paypal account set up at meghanmatt@gmail.com

Thanks in advance, yall!

Peace, love, and bringin.bebies.home,
xo
lmkw

theDuckling at 10 Months

2010-03-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

These milestones are coming too quickly for me! James' first year flew by, sure- but Jackson's seems to have gone by in the blink.of.an.eye. I know that's what everyone says...

He's still our beautiful.thing... our tiny boy.joy.

I took him to his well visit at the doctor's the other day, and she measured his development. He's in the 99th percentile for height and the 97th for weight. After her assessment, she told me that his development was that of a 15 Month Old's. Which all boils down to one thing for me: he's growing just as he should be! All mother's worry to some extent, right? :)

He's got quite the personality, our littleDuck. He can say Momma, Daddy, and Uh-Oh. He can sign for 'more,' 'milk,' and 'all done.' It's so sweet to have him talk and sign... Needless to say, he's a great eater. Since I've made his bebe.food up to this point, he's already on table foods. He can tolerate the texture- so I can just mash things up with the back of my fork.

We are transitioning to a sippy cup- and he loves that! Jackson is just weeks away from walking. He insists on standing by himself- and can do it for about 5 seconds or so... now, if he can just get the feet going.

WHICH brings me to the next thing: His 'no' issues. :) He's a mover and a shaker! Which only means we have to reinforce boundaries all.day.long. BUT the good news is he is beginning to understand that 'No' means !NO!. :) I hope this trend sticks around... James has always been a good listener. I hope bebe.Bro follows suit!

Jax loves tub.time, swinging outside, his Blanket, and PandaBear. He can clap and play 'Pat.A.Cake.' He'll grab your hands and clap them together and say 'Pat Pat Pat' to get you to play... so cute. If you ask for a kiss, he'll bury his face in yours and make an long mmmmmmm sound with puckered lips. So that means we pretty much kiss all day--- and theHotness feels slighted. He loves snack time where he can pick up his own food... You Are My Sunshine is still his magic.song. His big.Bro is still his favorite part of the day- although he loves to tattle on Brother when he gets annoyed.

James Neal still dotes on his bebe. He's a gentle giant and knows accurately just what his brother needs at any given moment. It's so cute. If Jax cries when theHotness is changing his diaper- James has been known to leave whatever he's doing, run in the nursery and say- 'it's okay, Dad. I got this.' and then proceed to monkey.shine for his bebe. He knows Jax's schedule and can predict what he needs next. It's magical to watch them grow together...

I love theDuckling so much... he's pure joy... and the top of his head still smells like a warm slice of heaven. *sigh*

Peace, love, and bebe.bellies.
xo
lmkw